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Love,Loss and Living

I never expected to become pregnant at just 20. I was a college student, a party girl, not a mom. I found out a week before my 21st birthday, i had taken the test in a fast food resturant's bathroom. I was in too much of a hurry to wait the five minute drive from the walmart to my dorm room. I cried for a while after I got the news. I was scared, and a little mad at myself, how could I have been so stupid. I had no idea who the day was. To say I was a tad slutty was a total understatement. I don't really have a relationship with my parents, so I never told them I was expecting. When I was 19 weeks along I decided that I would give the baby up for adoption. I thought thatit would be the best way to come out of this whole situation. Soon I decided on a closed adoption. you know, like when you never seen the kid and they can't find you until they are 18. I know it sounds heartless, but I'd rather he get on with his life and it not include his screwed up birth mom (me) I went into labor at 40 weeks, and a baby boy was born. I wasn't able to hold him, because once the baby is checked, your rights are terminated. I did know his name. It is Ellis, but thats it. icried for a long while afterwards. It has been almost a year. i have lost most of the baby weight, but the reminder that he was inside me will always be there. Sometimes I wish I could hold him, and a part of me wonders what it would be like to be him mom. I guess i will always will, but i stand beside the decision.

Samantha Leih

Two Miracles?

I met my juan when I was 15, we dated for about a year & a half when I found out I was pregnant at 16. Had my babygirl jade in february <33 I love her so much! He is around for the most part. Relationship wise- were on & off. He has ALOT of growing up to do!! Now im eighteen & currently 19 weeks pregnant with baby #2 :D me & juan are still together I guess.. I just dont feel the same for him! Hes 19 & acts younger than my 10yr old brother -___-but im soooo excited to be having another baby. Jade (now almost two) will have a baby sister or brother. Im currently working, im financially stable, looking for my first appt & happy to say I do everything on my own (: even tho my babies father is around, hes a broke loser. I love my kids <333

Jaelyn (:

:'(

Hiya I'm yazzie. I'm 15 and i got pregnant when I was 14. I gave birth to a little girl. The boy I was with was 15 when I got pregnant. We was together a few weeks but then I got pregnant. He ended it with me anbi ended up alone. I was devastated i didn't know what I wa gunna do but then I had a chat with my mum. And we decided te best thing to do was give up my baby for adoption. We have done an open adoption cuz I still get to see her that way. I seriously do wish I could have kept my little girl but it is impossible, I couldnt let a baby ruin my school&other things. I'm a cheerleader and I really didn't want a baby. I do regret giving her up, but I still see her&i wish I could see her grow up but it was for the best.

Yazzie

Lost Soul and Lonely Mother

Well I had been dating my boyfriend Rufus for about a year and a half. Everything was perfect. We got engaged and moved in together. I loved him with all my heart. He was an amazing guy and a gentleman. For us to be so young he took care of me. Well it was the summertime we are out of school. He just graduated im entering my Senior year. I decide to go to New Mexico to spend the summer with my dad....of whom i met when i was 13. Im 16 at the time. I come home just in time for school, go to school a week or two and find out this girl is pregnant by no one other than my boyfriend. Saddest part is i find out on my birthday. He tells me it isn't his and that she is just lying because he won't date her. Well im so disappointed at this time that i do not even want to be with him at the time. My grandmother knows that i love him so she tells me just wait it out and see how things turn out. I love this guy so much that i do just that. Well i decide to move in with him. Everything is going great, we get engaged and then all of a sudden things start to change. We live together for about 2 months and he starts hitting me. I didnt know what to do. I just try not to make him made. I quit talkin to my family and i drop out of school. One day he beats me up so bad i just start throwing up and i start bleeding really bad( not knowing im having a miscarriage). I think it is just bad cramps and my period. Well my mom decides that she is tired of hearing people telling her that im gettin abused. So i finally get out of the house and go see my mother and sisters. My sister invite to the football game i tell them that i dont have money and they tell me to come on anyways. So i go that night my babys father decides he is going to kill me because he thinks that i am going to leave him. Well my little sister sees us arguing she runs home tells my mom. My mom comes and gets me and I finally leave. My mom makes me put a restraining order on him and I leave him alone. Well another month goes by still no period. Then on Oct. 28, 2008 I get a phone call. Its my aunt she thinks that me and Rufus is still together. She tells my mom that he just died in a car crash. I turn on the news and there it is.....Im lost and dont want to cry in front of everyone. I go to take a shower and just burst into tears...How could i be crying over this man who i still loved but he abused me? Well the next morning i wake up for school. My mom got me back in. I get sick... I go to the doctor later on that day and I find out im 6 weeks pregnant. All i can do at this point is cry. My babys father just died yesterday and here i am pregnant with his child. What do i do is all that is going through my head. I just dont know how i am going to raise a child on my own. Well i deal with it keep my head up. I had my daughter on June 15,2009. She is a blessing. I however am doing my best to raise her with the help of my mother. She stays with her. I got my life together joined the navy and im just trying to make it where she will never go with out. I miss her father and think about him all the time. But got to do what has to be done!

brittany

Trials of being a mom

I was 14 and he just turned 16. We been through alot before we even started dating. I had only been with one person before my babys father because i thought he like me. Stupid right? Anyways so me and my BD live close to each other and we would go to school together. Then started dating and he was a virgin. We hanged out all the time we started having sex with protection. Then he kept breaking up with me and we end up back together. We were in our 7 month together and he surprise me by showing up to my house wich about 9 miles apart and my parents werent home and we did it but the condom broke. I never thought i could get pregnant soon i misses my period but i didnt show. I told my BD he said everything will be fine. Then he said he wanted me to get a abortion i just walked away. He apologize later. i told my mom and we spent all day at the doctors. Sure enough i was pregnant. She was shocked and didnt belive it. So i start showing at 8 months and BD moved in . I gave birth to my little man march 21st. Almost a week later i find out he was going over to his ex and lying to me for over 3 months. They were planning on having sex but because i went into labor early they couldnt thanks to his twin who told me everything.. So we broke up and he says he changed but everytime his ex comes into the picture he flirts with them and says he loves them. But we been together for almost 2 years and i was the only girl to meet his fam befor the baby was born. He selfish and i can never go out without him calling me to tell me he wants me home. I am now 16 going on 17 in nov and he is 18 but i know we are not going to make ut

Kassitty