It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.
My Beautiful Son
When i was 15 years old i had just moved to a new school. I had some friends there because it was only a few miles down the road. My parents then took me and my two older brothers to Fleetwood, a local seaside town. There at the caravan park me and my friend found two boys. We got really drunk and had sex. Two days after we left and i never saw him again. Back then you never had phones and i never got his phone number or where he actually lived. I felt like i had to do it on my own. When i was 3 months gone i found out i was pregnant. I told my mum and dad and they accepted it straight away. One time whilst they thought i was asleep, i heard them talking about how disappointed they were. I felt like i had let them down but i knew that i had to go through with it. Some of my extended family disapproved but i really didn't care. On April 28th 1983 i had a beautiful baby boy called Andrew Allen Henry Loveday. My family allowed them to live with them until i could get a house. At 17 years old i moved into my new house with my baby son who was then nearly two years old. I am now 44 years old and in 2009 he died on my only daughters birthday. I still love him and never forget him as i wouldn't be the person i am today without him beingin my life. I now have 3 other sons and a daughter who i treasure with all my heart.
growing up too fastMy story starts when i was 17, during the summer going into my senior year. i was hanging out with my sister and her boyfriend along with my other sister and her husband all summer. My sister was 19 and her boyfriend at the time was 35, quite the age difference. but i was used to that because she and my older sister had always been with older guys. I was always the single one in the group, and didnt really care until one day my sisters boyfriends best friend Jack came over. I knew i had to have him the moment i saw him, then i found out he was 26. But me being my stupid naive and stubborn self, didnt care.
Me and Jack started talking, and at the time i was a virgin. After talking for four months and dating for one, i lost my virginity to a 26 year old in my sisters room in the middle of the winter.
8 weeks later, me and Jack were happy as ever, and i was lying to my other family members about his age. That is, until i walked into my chem class and immediately threw up in the garbage can. My teacher sent me to the nurse, who took my temp and said it was fine. when she took me into the back room to lay down for a bit, she asked me if i could be pregnant. I told her no, because Jack had pulled out the times we had sex. She advised me to take a test anyways, so i did thinking nothing of it.
10 minutes later i was sitting in my High School Nurses office looking at a stick that i just peed on in pure horror. I was pregnant. I called Jack crying, and the nurse let him sign me out of school to take me to the doctor, who confirmed i was 8 weeks along with Jacks baby. It was the scariest moment in my life, by a longshot. Jack hugged me in the car and told me it would be ok, but i didnt believe him at all. I cried for days, until my mom got suspicious and i finally had to tell her the truth. First of all, my boyfriend was 26 and second of all, i was pregnant. Her and my family didnt take it well, but fortunately she never kicked me out.
The next 7 months went by in a whirlwind. I graduated at about six months pregnant, and my babyshower was held the next weekend at Jacks moms house. My family supported me for the most part, but i knew the hardest part was yet to come. People at my job talked behind my back, and eventually i got so big i couldnt tie my apron. One day a couple whos table i was waiting on asked me the typical when are you due/ what are you having questions and i answered proudly, until the husband asked how old i was. I told him that i was 17 and before even ordering their food they got up and left the table. It was hard being judged everywhere i went, especially with Jack by my side and everyone knowing our age gap.
But Jack stuck through it all, and one weekend in October we were putting the finishing touches on our all pink nursery for our babygirl when it all happened. I felt a pain and a gush and the rest was history. 18 hours later i gave birth to a screaming 8 lb 13 oz baby girl named Kennydi Kaedance Perez. Me and Jack cried tears of joy and my family came to take pictures and bring presents.
going home from the hospital was a wake up call, there were no nurses helping you do everything anymore. and on top of that the day i left the hospital was the day i left home at the young age of 17. but i made that decision because i was no longer a baby, i now had one of my own and i needed to act like it. I moved in with Jack in his little appartment ten miles from my moms, and baby Kennydi me and him began the rest of our lives. It was never easy, not by far. I waitressed during the day and Jack worked as a roofing contractor. My sister watched Kenni while we worked and on the weekends i attending nursing classes at a local community college while Jack watched her.
When i had my daughter alot of my family viewed me different and distanced themselves. the only people who i could count on then and now are my mom Jack, my sisters and my dad. And even with their help it is hard. My paycheck goes to my sister for childcare, groceries,baby supplies and school. That doesnt include rent and bills either. when me and Jack are done paying for all of that we have nothing left over to save. We work hard but we know that its for our daughters stability and happiness.
What i did was too soon and too fast. i was a kid having a kid, and even now at 18 having a 13 month old i am still learning. I don't advise anyone my age to think about children, i wouldnt trade Kennydi for the world, but i would wait if i had to do it again. and as for Jack, i love him to death but age differences like ours rarely ever work out.
As for now, Kennydi is awesome. She walks and talks and says Mommy Daddy , "Ti" (auntie), please, thanks, no,cheese, baba, yum, more and doggy. Jack proposed to me on my 18th birthday and we plan to get married in 9 months when i finish my nursing classes. When my daughter gets to be older, i will tell her the hardships i went through to get her where she is then and there, and tell her that love is love, but being in love doesnt mean you have to have sex and if you do you should be safe. I love you Kennydi Kaedance, your mommy and daddys little Kenni forever and ever babygirl always remember that.
MY babyalmost twenty years ago i was a lonely 16 yr old teen mum. my parents had a violent relationship and later divorced, i had spent those eight years of my life away from my parents, at parties and with friends. although my parent hated eachother, they made sure me and my brother were sent to the best private schools as they wanted the absolute best for us.
while at school i was shy and quiet until i met my best friend elise. we did everything together. i couldnt live without her, she was like family.
in my eleventh year at school i went to a party and thats when i ment jayden. he was sweet and charming, and we went out four weeks until we had sex, i was on the pill so i thought nothing would happen.oh but i was SO wrong. later after morning sicknesses and dizziness elise got me a pregnancy test and i found out i was pregnant. i told my parents first as jayden was away on hiliday i think? my parents took it horribly and kicked me out. i lived with elise for two weeks, until i told jayden.
when i told jayden he refused and said i must have cheated on him and i was lying and that i was a horrible person. i was crushed, i hoped he would be around when the baby was born as im christian and dont believe in abortion.
my uncle and aunty took me in, they were both police and already had two younger children lilly and eamon (buddy).they were lovely and so nice and understanding, although they believed i should take care of the baby myself and find my own feet in the world if i was to be a mother, they also made me continue my schooling.
i had to move schools because of distance, i made a few close friends i still have today, but i stayed until i was 35 weeks and i went into labour in maths class, how exciting :/
eventually after a 47 hour labour i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, kai logan kennedy. i wanted him to keep his biological fathers last name. i had to make many phone calls to get jayden, who never contacted me through my pregnancy to come and sign the certificate. after jayden saw kai he imediately wanted to be in his life, but two months after the excitement of a new baby wore off and he stopped calling and seeing me and the baby. elise helped me so much during my pregnancy and even when kai was born, it was soo hard lookiing after kai and finishing schooling but i did it!
a year after i graduated, my aunty and uncle were iinvolved in a fatal car crash and died so we lost the house and were in debt for their funeral too, i had to look after lilly and eamon who were destraught and so was i, on top of the grief i had no where to live, and i gained custody of their two young kids, lilly and buddy. all of this while i was at uni, it was becomming to much. but after going through many rental homes, job after low paying job and having to live at a homeless shelter for a month all four of us made it after the four years at uni, i was now a nurse working at st john of god and earning quite a large wage for the time, so i could put all my children in school which was lucky.
i saved up enough for substantial house, which took quite a while, in the process of buying a house i ran into a guy from my old private school that i had a crush on then and now, we went out for two years bought a house together and later married. he was so accepting of lilly buddy and my beautiful boy kai, all get along wonderfully he admires us for pulling through and we all love him, and weve all since took his last name, although lilly and buddy kept their last name in rememberance of their parents.
im now a full time nurse and still paying back 20 years worth of bills jayden had linked to my bank account from our son (its complicated) so we hope to take him to court to wipe the bills and fees. im so proud of my son though as hes just turned 20 and has almost finnished training to be a pilot in the royal air force. hes not engaged yet as he wants a family a little bit later and for that im thankful! hes never really asked about his biological father but knows his past. im so pround of him and lilly, whos 26 and is a fully registered vetinarian who has her own clinic and buddy (whos full name is eamon, 24) has just been married with a baby on the way and is an architect in america im so proud of them and i wouldnt change anything. throughout all the years my mother has not contacted me once and i dont know where she is or what shes doing, although my dad contacted me almost twenty years after and we've slowly been building our relationship again. he says hes proud of what ive become and he loves kai and lilly and buddy.
for all those single mothers out there, you should know that the support of your family and friends is great and helpful but it doesnt make you any less of a woman to abort either, to have a second chance at adulthood.
The best mommyWhen i was 17 i fell in love with my boyfriend of 8 months. I knew on our 8 month anniversary that i was in love with him, and was he in love with me. Earlier in our realationship we had discussed the whole "sex thing" but since we were both virgins we wanted to wait. Now that we were in love, we both felt we had waited long enough. We became sexually active without niether of us telling our parents. I wasent on birth control but i insisted he use comdoms, and he did the first few times but eventuelly he stopped and i didnt want to sound needy by asking him to. I know how stuid it was now, but at the time we were in love and nothing could ruin that.
I found out i was pregnant about 4 months after we started having sex. It sisnt take long for me to notice that i was. I knew before i even took a test and after i told my boyfriend, he said he was excited and that he would suport me. He did support me for a few weeks, and he was there for me when we had to tell my parents and then his. My mom and dad was extremly dissapointed because it was my senior year and i already had plans about what college i'd be attending,
After i told my parents i wasent getting abortion and i wasent going toward adoption, they happily supported me and they're soon to be grandchild. At 16 weeks pregnant i found out i was pregnant with a little boy, My boyfriend and i got really excited. My friends all supported my decision to keep my baby and i was soo happy to have this kind of suport. Eventuelly my boyfriend started to get distant from me, and one day, when i was 28 weeks along, he told me he didnt want to have a baby. And he wasent in love with me anymore. I was soo heart broken that i was depressed for weeks. I had to hopitalized at one point but after hearing so many times that i need to stay strong for my soon, i was sent home. I graduated highschool at 38 weeks pregnant and it wasent the ideal graduation i had exected and dreamed about since i was a little girl, but i had graduated.
I gave birth to my son, Hayden James Marsh 6 days later. I am now 18 and my son is better than ever. We are still learning to adjust to life without having a father around, but i am doing my best.
Love, Lie, LostWhen i was 16 my mother and i moved to a new city, a new state. She wanted to move because her 4th ex-husband had lived in New Jersey (where we used to live). My mother is a bit crazy when it comes to guys, she's been married too many times, and she has 3 kids with 3 different fathers. I was her first born, and i also have two half brothers. One is 6 years younger and the other is 10 years younger. Niether one of them lives with me and my mom. Anyway the point is, i grew up with my mother being this woman who fell in love every five minutes. I just learned to love that way. Right before we moved from New Jersey to Maine i got pregnant from a "hookup". I knew the guy from my school but we werent boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that.
I didnt realize i was pregnant until after i moved to Maine which made things worse. But since i had already moved i didnt see a point in telling the baby dadddy that i was pregnant. After i told my mom she said i should get an abortion because in three weeks i would be starting my senior year at a brand new high school with brand new people. I could start over. So thats what i thought i was doing when i got the abortion. But only two weeks after that i met a really nice guy who was really cute. he was 21 and i was 16. My mother didnt really care that we had a five year difference in our age because she had been with a lot of older men. Why started dating after 3 weeks of meeting each other. I knew i could trust him because One of my first friends i had in maine introduced us.
I became sexually active with my new boyfriend after we dated for 2 weeks. I didnt think i was in love or anything like that, but he was there for me and that was enough. I thought i could make him love me if had sex with him, when i reality he would have never loved me because i learned he was dating his girlfriend of two years still. And i had no idea until he broke up with me. When we first got together it was the day after they broke up but the very next day they were back together and he never told me. I wasent heart broken or anything, just pissed. So i stopped talking to him.
I started my 11th grade year of school and things were going pretty good. I had made a bunch of new friends whom i already felt close too, and this really nice poupuler guy, Andrew started to flirt with me. I felt on top of the world because i had this brand new life! This 'new start' my mother had talked about. I was glad i got the abortion, and so was my mother. I had a new guy and so did she.
I learned i was 4 months pregnant in December. I also learned that i was too far along by two weeks for it to be my boyfriends. I didnt want to get another abortion because me and Andrew were in love. So i told alittle white lie and told him i was pregnant with his baby. I told him that i got pregnant the first night we met, when we had sex. He had used a condom but i told him it must have broke. When my mother found out i was pregnant again she said that i should get another abortion and when i said i didnt want too, she was okay with it, because she had a new fiance. Andrew is such a down to earth guy and i felt bad about lying but i felt better about the fact that i was going to have the 'perfect family'.
I never got that 'perfect family' because Andrew found out i had lied to him. He learned that our baby boy was not his. His family said i was going to hell because i had accepted their help and gifts and money. I screwed up and i realize that, but it dosent make what i did right. Andrew dosent love me anymore and i accept that, he dosent love my son anymore either.
For the longest time i felt ashamed about what i did. I just wanted Andrew to stay with me because he wa the first guy i truley loved. The real father of my son was in jail for grand theft auto and even though he was now 22, Andrew was always so much more mature. After andrew left me my mother just said that she understood why i had lied. She still supports me and my son. I gave birth to a Handsom baby who i named Andrew Ben Jaylen.
The point is, is that a baby is not going to make someone love you or stay. Ecspeially in my case, where the baby wasent even my first loves. Please wait to have sex ladies!
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