It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.
We CAN do it!
Well, I am 20 years old and have two beautiful kids. My daughter Alexyss is about to be 5. I had her when I was 15. My son, Hayden, is 1 1/2 years old.
The kids have different fathers and like the majority of young dads, they did not stick around. Well, my daughters father hit me 3 times (the last when I was pregnant) and did other horrible things before I finally left him. I was 4 months pregnant with her.
My sons father woke up with him when he was crying one night and I woke up to him cussing my son out. I left him quite shortly after that. Hayden was only like a month old.
Like many teenage mothers, I dropped out of high school. I didn't have anyone to pick up Lexy from daycare. My mom did help me as much as she could, but she had to work and she has my sister to deal with.
Despite all of this and other things happening too, I got my GED and I am in college. This is my second year. Last semester I got 3 A's and a B in some very hard courses! I am proud of that. I also work at taco bell and I am getting promoted to manger soon.
The point I am trying to make is you to can do this. Even if you are single like me. One of the most important things you can do for your child as well as yourself is to get an education. You can do this and work, like me. There are plenty of resourse to help you with accomplishing these. The only thing that stops teen mothers from accomplishing what they want is excuses. When you do start, never give up. If you keep trying then you still have a chance but if you give up, you have no chance at all.
I Was Supposed to be the Normal OneI remember one time hearing some of my family talking. They said I would be the only "normal" one in our family. I would do what ever my mom and dad told me to do. Go to school, church, etc.
I started being sexually active when I was 17. I am 19 now and have a beautiful baby girl. She just turned six months on Christmas Eve.
About two years ago I was living with my sister to finish high school. After I finished I decided to move back with my parents. I started dating one of my brothers friends. I remember him telling me he asked my brother if he could ask me out and he said no. Caused all sorts of problems. I liked him a lot still though and still do.
We dated for awhile then we broke up for like a week. He went and partied and had sex with another girl. I used to party a lot too. I took him back. I shouldn't have but then I wouldn't have had Scarlett.:-) I got pregnant on the 14th of October of 2009. We dated for like five months. Didn't use any protection ever. Stupid I know. I suggested it once and we both said we didn't like condoms. Then didn't talk about it ever again.
When I found out I was pregnant I told him right after. A few days later he said we needed to talk. He went to his friends house across the street from my parents. My parents and him don't like each other at all. Right when I got there he said we needed to get an abortion. I said no. He said what about adoption? I said no again. Then he said I don't want a kid right now do you? I said no but I am going to have one and walk off. He had mad me so mad.
After I had told my mom and dad I moved back in with my sister. I was pregnant almost the whole year I was 18. I wanted to have her at my house, in my bed, with a midwife. My mom thought I was crazy. My sister helped me get a job so I could pay the midwife $2,400. Medicaid wouldn't pay for it. I ended up having to go to the hospital anyways.
I was upset, I really hate hospitals. I was due on the third of July but my water broke nine days early. I was sad cause her dad was going to come up the weekend before she was due. So he would be here when I had her. We talked about it the night before. But a few hours later he found a ride. I called his mom and my mom so they were on their way. All of them live far away. I was happy and excited. I always wanted to know what having a baby was like. But nothing was happening. So my midwife came nine hours later to check me.
She was breech even though on my check up two days before she had been head down. My midwife could feel her foot in the birthing canal too. She thought her foot had riped my bag of water. I didn't even feel her turn around. When I got to the hospital they checked me again and coukd feel both of her feet. So I had to get a c section. The whole time I was pregnant I was saying I wouldn't have to get one.
Scarlett Lynn Broderick was born Thursday June, 24. 2010 at 7:39PM. I chose her first name. Then we gave her her dads moms(grandma's) middle name and her dads last name. She weighed 5lbs 7oz and was 18.5" long. She was so tiny I thought I was going to break her. I made the hospital let me go home a day early. I hated it there.
I pretty much take care of her myself. My sister works a lot and I get to stay home with my baby girl.:-) I am planning on going to college soon. My family and her dads family have helped me out a lot. I am happy all this happened so I could meet them. They are wonderful people. I wouldn't have minded if it happened a few years later than it did. I am still not really sure what is going on between me and her dad. But oh well. I am just glad I was done with high school when it did.
I am so happy I have her. She was a suprise. I never got an ultrasound while I was pregnant. She is starting to crawl already and get into everything. Is crazy she will be turning one in another six months. Who wants to be "normal"?
my storyBeing 18 life has changed dramatically for me.I never thought it would happen to me but it did. Its not that i regret anything. Do i wish i couldve done it over? Of course. But my baby boy who is currently 4 months old is the best thing to ever happen to me his name is Wesley i got the time from my dad's middle name. I get looked at alot. Most of the time its either an ew! Or pitty look.I hate it. I see the dad all the time he always comes over and he pays for everything. Im very greatful for my little Wesley. I look at him all the time and think that hes mine ! Being a single mom is not easy but deffinitely worth it.!
deep admiration ! xxim here to put this HUGE encouragement down here, i TRUELY admire all of you
my cousin is 14 just a yr younger than me wen she got pregnant i stayed with her through it all, 9 moths of hard hard work. the morning vommiting, the sweat, the tears of her crying ALL the time, the body marks, the contractions. everytime she cried i cried with her, just the look of pain on her face drove me insane, but girls, she borned the most beautiful girl and the look of her wen she held her baby, the tears she cried, were diiferent, they were tears of accomplishment.
I really really am proud of all of you, your strength, your bravery to raise and have your own child, i REALLY hope you girls all the best, you guys, are just simply AMAZING ,and BEAUTIFUL. you all need encouragement and i know that, you all need positivity. BUT lsn girlz, your baby will NOT destroy your life so dnt be upset! she/he WONT limit your options at all! She/he will be just as a baby brother or sister, so dont let your baby get in the way cuz it will defintaly not, she/he will be the smiling face you see once you get in2 the door after a long day of school or college. this baby will be 110% yours! you made her/him, you delivered her/him she/he's just gonna b your big ball of sunshine and work of art!
you are WAY better than a person now, you are a MOTHER. give your baby the life it deserves, but remember give YOURSELF the life you deserve as well ;) xxox ily all <3 thank u for showing the world its worth living and THNKZ 4 the inspiration :')
There is HopeHello, I am 18 and I just though I would briefly chare my story with you, for those who might find it helpful and hopeful. My baby girl will be turning one year old January first, and this year has been the bEST year of my life I left out my name for family of mine that read this and dont know ALL the details.. :) .
I started dating my boyfriend (now husband) When I was 15 years old (not official till 16, due to the fact that I am LDS and my parents) I was born in august, so a few months later (early january we had sex for the first time. I always thought myself to be the person to say NO and when it started happening I was scared, but not thinking at the moment. I think everyone thinks "it wont happen to me" Well because I did not get pregnant, we did it again. and again. I finallly found out I was pregnant in April of 2009. I was currently running track, on varsity. I had to hide the pregnancy at first so I had to stick through with it through track, which was hard because I had terrible nausea. I threw up so much I lost 11 pounds, and At home I could not over eat or my parents would be suspicious.
I was scared to tell my BF, not because I though he would be angry, honestly the thought of him leaving me NEVER even crossed my mind until a few months after( Just from hearing about most teen pregnancies) I was just scared for the fact i was pregnant. Well I finished up that semester as a sophmore, my BF graduated that year from high school.
My parents and his parents pushed up towards adoption for weeks. I did not want to do this, I was honestly and truly in love with him, and my baby. I was adopted as a Kid (when I was 4) And have not met my mother father or talked to them. all my life I have always wondered what my life would be like if I had not been adopted.
I finally told my mom that he should just stop trying to push me towards adopting i was keeping my baby and that was that. so she accepted it and we moved on.
Oh yes the telling my parents part... Well actually i did not have to tell them, my mom could tell from my behavior (bathroom a lot, ouking my guts out, i slept ALOT) she just figured it out and they onfronted me about it. I cried, they were disappointed, and told me all my options. I always knew abortion was an option, but no way id rather do adoption for a family wo would be able to take care of my little one better.
I think back now, and if I had got an abortion, I would have rather died now that I know my little baby girl. she and my husband are the light of my life. when i was pregnant i always got weird looks from people (even now with my baby i do, i really try not to let them get to me, cuz i know im doing great) i look really young for my age which doesnt help, i look like im 15 not 18....
my husband goes to school in the AM and works in the PM I watch my little girl and I do nanny once a week where i can bring my lil girl with me. Might i say one of the most important things is for my husband to FINISH COLLEGE that way he can get a better job and we will not live like this forever (tight on money)
we live paycheck to paycheck and dont have much extra cash to spend, but we always make sure our little girl has what she neeeds.
everyone thought that i would not be able to make it when i was pregnant. not even my parents. they were SOOO supportive, but they thought i was making the wrong choice. now everytime i see them they tell me how great they think we are doing and how happy our little girl is all the time.
Me and my husband got married in september when I was 17. we have been married over a year and I love him more than anything Sure, we have fights sometimes (all couples and parents do even if you dont thihnk they do they prob just hide it!) but they really arent over anything too serious, its just when I need his help and hes caught up playing on the nintendo (and after going to school and work all day he deserves it!) or little things like that and we never yell at each other or hit each other. no man who loves you should ever hit you!!!
I just got so sick of being "catogorized" most teen moms have bad lives, dont do a good job, I am not everyone else, I am my own person to make my own decisions. My parents said we had many options, one option they would not allow is letting us both live under there roof raising the baby if we kept her we had to move out. I am soo thankful for this, It has helped me grow up a lot more, and its so nice having your own place without your mother critiquing everything you do.My advice, if you can afford it and your man is with you, live on your own, not dependant on your parents.
We are so excited for our first christmas with our little girl, and I beat all the statistics I hated that told me I could nto be a successful teen mom. I have graduated from a massage therapy program, and am still working on my high school degree. (must have high school diploma or GED to be licensed as a therapist) I have online courses right now, but may just get my GED and go straight onto college to do interior designing. massage and this are things I find very interesting.
So please dont give up hope, know that there are tons of resources and people willing to help you out and support you, even if they are nto your babys dad or your parents. just because people say most teen moms get divorced, drop out of school and basically lead miserable lives, doesn't mean you have to be that person, only if you let yourself be that person. I am not saying it will be easy, but It will be the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life, being a mom. I look back at my getting pregnant, and while it would have been nice to postpone it a few years, I cannot imagine my life any other way, I would not want it any other way. And I am looking forward to having more kids in the future!!!!!!
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