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Pregnancy drama

I am about 5 months pregnant with my first boy. The father and I are in a bad situation right now. We dated for about 5 to 6 months. The relationship was spiraling down the drain but we somehow still wanted to work things out. Eventually, things turned so sour that we had to break up. Three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.

He was sort of present in the beginning. I wasn't sure whether I could be a mother or could find the nerve to get an abortion. My ex insisted that I keep the baby because I had to "obey God." In the meantime, he told me that I needed to keep this baby but prepare as though he wouldn't be there to help me. I wanted to communicate but he wasn't trying to talk to me. He told me that any issue would be taken to court. I was then taken to an abortion clinic. I was locked out of my home. I had no more belongings. No help from my ex. He then told me he didn't want a relationship with me and has no obligation towards me. He says he will be the best father he can be. In the meantime, he wouldn't talk to me, ask how the baby is doing... he says he will now be sending me checks for $50 in the mail until the baby is born. I have no clue what is going on.

All I can think about is that God will provide for the baby and I. My ex will respond to God on judgment day and that is not my responsibility. My son will learn about birds, fish, horses, music. I am so happy I chose to give him life. I can't imagine waking up in the morning with the thought I will never be able to tell my son "I love you." I am happy that I'll be able to hug him, hold him, comfort him when he cries, listen to him laugh, hear his little child voice ask me questions, watch him walk, have him pull my hair. He is just worth everything to me. I don't need my bank account. I don't need my career. I don't need my reputation. I don't need any of the material things that I have. I was stripped of everything for months. The one thing that kept me going is knowing that my son will be able to hear from my mouth to his own ears that I love him so dearly.


Abby

Well, finally.

I wasn't sure where to put this on this website, so I am posting it in second trimester and then again in infertility. I have been pregnant six times, and this is the first time I have made it past 11 weeks. My husband and I have been trying for three years. We were referred to a specialist after our first two miscarriages, and they were unable to find out what caused them and just told us to keep trying. After our 5th miscarriage, we started Clomid to increase mid-cycle progesterone levels, but that just gave me hemorrhagic cysts on my ovaries (not fun at all). After the clomid, we switched to tamoxifen, and at our mid-cycle ultrasound I had a cyst the size of a lemon on my right ovary, and the doctor told my husband and me that I would not ovulate that cycle. He also said that I probably wouldn't get my period because of the cyst and the elevated progesterone levels because of the tamoxifen, and so I might need provera and then a couple of months on the pill to rest my ovaries before we could try another cycle.

So when my period was late, I took the pregnancy test just to rule it out before I went on provera again to bring on my period. Lo and behold, it was positive. Of course, the day after I found out it was positive, I had horrible left lower quadrant abdominal pain with nausea and vomiting, ended up sitting in the emergency room for six hours, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, so they doped me up and sent me home. The next week I went to have an Hcg level drawn at my doctor's office, and it was multiplying like it was supposed to be, so we set up an ultrasound for six weeks to look for a cardiac flicker and I started on progesterone supplementation just in case. The first ultrasound went well, we set up another one for two weeks, and that one was fine, too.

The next week I had some mucus discharge and freaked out, so we did another ultrasound and it was fine, too. At this point, I was almost daring to hope; since that was the furthest we had made it with normal fetal development and a heartbeat. At ten weeks, I spotted and had some cramping, freaked out AGAIN, and called my doctor (I had switched from the fertility service to OB at this point), and we did another ultrasound, which was fine. The next week I had my initial pregnancy physical, and the midwife said she wasn't even going to try to get the baby's heartbeat on doppler since my uterus was tilted backward. So she set me up another ultrasound (not that I minded in the slightest - I probably have more baby pictures from before birth than just about anyone I could name), and everything was still fine. At this point, I heaved a sigh of relief and started to take deep breaths again. At 13 weeks, I had such severe round ligament pain that I went to the emergency room again unable to keep anything down, and they ruled out ovarian torsion, ovarian masses, ectopic pregnancy (it was a little late at that point, but they did check), GI bleeding, appendicitis, diverticulitis, STDs, urinary tract infection, and kidney stones.

So that left round ligament pain (I'm still not sure I buy that). But we had another ultrasound, and got to see the baby swimming around stoned on morphine and phenergan, which was entertaining. Two weeks after that, I had another doctor's appointment and set up my 17 week rule out anomalies scan for the following Thursday. The scan went fine, and I was hoping I could finally come off of pelvic rest when they told me that I had a partial placenta previa. They also couldn't see some of the structures for the baby (although he's a boy), and so we are going to do another scan at 25 weeks to see if my placenta is migrating at all. This pregnancy has been fantastic because it's lasted and everything has been fine, but it has been the scariest experience of my entire life - just one thing after another. And then this last week, I got exposed to a virus (CMV) that can cause birth defects and hearing loss, so I had to have levels drawn for that. Oh, and I have a urinary tract infection. My pregnancy itself has not been bad, but I have gone from high-risk for one reason to high-risk for two other reasons. I envy all of you that have had an easy time conceiving, staying pregnant, and delivering...I'm not sure if I can do all this again. Oh, BTW, the only reason for miscarriages they could offer us (and this is not definite by any stretch of the imagination) was that one of the two of us has a chromosome that's flipped 180 degrees, so every time we get pregnant, it's a coin toss as to whether the baby's a keeper.


Julia

19wks and two kids

I am about 4 in a half months. I have two children already.
I am interested in seeing how the other children are going to respond to this baby. They know that mommy has something in her stomach. The oldest is 4 and she knows that their is a baby in there but the 1 yr old I don't know if she fully understands. I just hope I can divide myself amongst the three equally.

cindey

Being me

Well... so far my pregnancy is doing great my husband and I have been married for 6 years and this is our first. I am 17 weeks but we don’t know if we are having a little boy or girl yet.

I had the morning sickness and nausea all the time but I got lucky and all of that ended around 10 weeks or so. My husband and every one except one person are very supportive and excited. The sad part is that the one person that is not supportive of our baby is my father. I have yet to figure out why that is. I have gotten many suggestions from friends ranging from he may have a thing against my husband to I was my father’s baby girl. I haven’t yet figured out what it is but he is breaking my heart and I don’t know what to do. He had kind of suggested to my older sister about my abilities to be a good parent. When I know I can do this. I have no doubt. And he has no room to talk.

When he and my mother got divorced he found a new girl friend and she had children and he quit spending time with us kids and more time and focus into her family. This started when I was 13 so I don’t think he has any room to talk at all. He wasn’t the worst dad but he wasn’t the best either. All I know is that I will love my baby no matter what.


Vicki M.

Not what I thought it would be

I'm 13 weeks into my first pregnancy and it is definitely not what I had imagined. My sinuses are all screwy and my fingers and wrists ache. I also find my balance is off, which is strange since I don't have a belly to blame it on. Although some smells turn me off, I never experienced morning sickness. But that's nothing compared to the strain on my marriage.

My husband is not supportive. I can't remember the last time he held my hand, helped me around the house or yard, or even carried something for me! He often gets upset with me over stupid things, like if I ask him too many questions. He cannot say anything without yelling it in my face. I wish I knew what to do. All I can do is guess that he is stressing out about... money? Family? His other kids? If he would just talk to me. His only explanation to why he is distant and stubborn is because I'm a bitch. I'm sorry, I'm too tired to drive you to the liquor store, muffin!!! And sex. I think I have forgot what that's like.

I feel alone in this pregnancy. At 19, depression and my one-way marriage are wearing me out. I know I'm not the only woman who will have a miserable pregnancy; I just hope there is someone who can lend a shoulder or an ear. Even typing it out to other soon-to-be-moms who may understand me takes some weight off my back. I just can't wait until this is all over and I can hold my lil sweetie!


Nina