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My little miracle

Seven years ago my husband and I decided the time was right to start a family. Suprisingly we became pregnant with my daughter after only 8 days of trying. I went on to have a pretty uneventful pregnancy until the delivery where everything that could go wrong did. Eventually she was born and narrowly missed being brain damaged only through the quick actions of one of the doctors. I ended up having to have reconstructive surgery as I had literally been ripped apart.

Naturally I was deeply traumatised but was offered no counselling and even the thought of having another child scared me rigid. It took nearly 3 years before I felt it was time to try again. This time it took 6 months for me to concieve and, to be honest, when I did the test my only feelings were of fear and apprehension. I also did not feel right. This may not make sense but almost immediatley I began to have pain in my left side.

Eventually after two weeks I was driving to work one morning and was overcome with wracking pain. I turned the car around and somehow or other managed to get myself to the hospital where I collapsed in Accident & Emergency. A series of blood tests established that it was an ectopic pregnancy and eventually I was terminated using Methatrexate. My tubes were saved but the emotional grief and trauma were immesurable. I felt such guilt that I had not just felt the same joy at this pregnancy as I had with that of my daughter.

In the following months I was crippled by Psoriatic Arthritis brought on by the trauma and lost most of my mobility. I moved from drug to drug while still hoping that through some miracle I would concieve again. After two years we gave up hope and started the adoption process. Everything was going well until the question of my arthritis was raised and they told us that we could no longer continue.

We were devastated - all avenues were being closed to us and the feeling of hoplessness grew. My grief became unbareable and I tried counselling but to be honest no one else I met had experienced anything similar and I withdrew even more. Another two years passed and in that time thankfully my arthritis has finally been controlled and I have found support to at least deal with that. I was started on a drug which I was told would stop me ovulating but as I felt I had nothing left to lose and I had to be healthy for my daughter, I took the drugs.

However in January I began to feel sick and tired. At first I assumed it was my arthritis and just muscles until one morning it occured to me that I could not remember when I had last had a period. I did a pregnancy test but was so convinced it would be negative I threw it straight in the bin without reading it. It was another 30 mins later before I went and checked it. I sat on the edge of the bath and with an incredible sense of fear mixed with amazement and joy saw a sight I thought I would never see again......a positive result. I can't even describe my joy although there was still fear of another ectopic.

Over the weeks blood tests and an early scan showed that my baby was growing in the right place. Seeing that tiny heartbeat for the first time was soooo beautiful, I cried with joy and relief.

I am now entering my second trimester and still can't believe that after over 6 years my prayers have finally been answered and I am truly going to be a mother again.

Stace

A Strange Beginning

I am a mother of a five year old daughter (Lauren). She was born on August 6, 2000. I was only 16 years old when i had her. Even though i was so young, it was the happiest time of my life. Her father is now my husband. He has been there every step of the way. He is a great man and a wonderful father. I always pictured myself marrying him even before we knew that we were going to be parents.

It was tough finishing high school and being a mother but it can be done. During the last two years of my high school career, my GPA did not drop and it even went up a little. Lauren grew up with loving and supportive parents and this part of my story goes out to any single mother that feels the burdens of being a single mother.

As time went by, we were wanting another baby. We were married, we owned a home, and we both have good jobs. Just when we thought all the conditions were right, we could not get pregnant. I was so frustrated and i just wanted to cry. We had gotten to the point where we had an appointment with a specialist scheduled for the end of January 2006.

With a lot of prayer and support from our family, we conceived two weeks before I was supposed to go to the specialist!!! I am now 16 weeks pregnant and we couldn't be more thrilled with our situation. Lauren is constanly kissing my stomach and making comments about the baby that is inside me. My husband is also thrilled and can't wait until the ultrasound to see if it is a boy or a girl.

Good luck to all those women who are trying to get pregnant.

Kendra

Baby discompfort

This is my second pregnancy. It varies significantly from my first pregnancy. with this pregnancy i am so uncomfortable. I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn all night long. I am almost 16 weeks and i am starting to feel some fetal movement!!! I am sooo excited.

Kendra

Sweetarts from a Friend

Mine is not so much a story as it is advice for those unfortunate mothers-to-be who are experiencing nausea and/or morning sickness. A few months ago my very pregnant friend said she was still battling with nausea. One of her friends told her to try sucking on sweetarts. As crazy as it sounded she tried it, and it worked. As we all know we will do almost anything to rellieve that terrible nauseaous feeling. I never had actual morning sickness but did have periods of nausea. I also tried the sweetart trick, and again it worked. So, try it. You may just be surprised.

Dawn

I lost my angel

I had a miscariage at 19 weeks, 3 weeks ago. I went to the A&E and I was told that I was being kept in for overnight observation. When the doctors came to see me the following morning I was told that I wasn't going home because my cervix was dilated to 3cm. However the bottom of the bed was elevated and the top lowered in order to prevent my waters from breaking. My waters did break simply by me coughing and I lost the baby girl I so badly wanted. After delivering the baby, (4 1/2) hours later I was taken to the operating theatre to have my placenta removed. It was a very traumatic experience for me and my husband who has never cried, he wept.

The doctors think that my miscarriage may have been caused by a UTI. I had a UTI since last November. I complained to my doctor that they have been treating me blindly with antbiotics for several months and the UTI wasn't getting treated properly. He then suggested that he would send me for a MSU if the last course of antibiotics didn't work. It didn't and I wasn't sent for the MSU. I am gutted. My husband is taking comfort in the fact that our baby is gone to a better place, the fact that we have two boys and that we can try again. I just keep cleaning the house, looking at the stuff I had bought for the baby.

I lie awake at nights with my thoughts and I am forgetting everything, the small and big stuff. I just pray to God that I will get stronger sooner rather than later, for the sake of myself and my family. Please pray for me and I will pray for all you mothers out there who have had a similar experience. I have milk in my breast but no baby to feed and I gave birth to a baby that I was not allowed to take home and I am thinking I am a good girl, I don't party, I'm devoted to my husband and kids and I love my fellowman. Why? God knows why. It was his will and I accept that. I just wish I was mentally prepared.

Gillian