Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Maeve and


Hi, my name is Eva, I am 25, I am a university graduate, and I use to be a single mom all the way through university. I found out I was pregnant right after my high school grad, I was upset and confused and no matter what I wouldn't tell anybody who the father was. By the way his name isn't on the birth certificate. Anyway, I was 3 months pregnant when I told everybody and they were happy for me, I always was good with kids and I always wanted babies young. Well when I was 5 months and starting to get a bump I went out to party and got drunk but I didn't do drugs. I drank away my hangovers for a week and it wasn't until my best friend snapped me out of it that I realized the harm I was doing. It was then that I decided to keep my baby, if she could make me stop partying before I even met her than I could never give her away. I got it together and bought a small 2 bedroom house that was really nice on the inside, new kitchen and bathrooms, new floors etc. and I bought a car, a Nissan Tiida, and I furnished my new house. I asked my parents for the money to get started and they gave it to me so I payed cash for the house and for the car and I didn't get in debt. Plus they sent me a check every month to pay for university. They were amazing support, which is why when I gave birth I had to take my moms name, Graziella, as a middle name, and my dads name, Jasper, as a second middle name. I spent my entire pregnancy name searching for something different and I found exactly what I wanted. Less than 24 hours before my delivery I might add. After only 3 hours of labor I gave birth to a raisin with hair and limbs. I fell in love with my very own raisin and named her Maeve Grazielle Jasper , Mae was my grandmothers name and I love how it looks in Maeve. Anyways, I didn't put a father on her birth certificate, just a mother, and I think it's better that way. I finally got to take home my raisin as she would come to be called by me, and once we got settled in things went smoothly. Maeve was a really easy baby, I breastfed her until she hit 13 months and I can honestly say that she slept through the night the day after the food-every-two-hours rule was taken away. She is 7 now and she has a "dad", James, a little brother, Fabrice Zain Canan, who is 3, and a baby sister, Yolanda Simone Vui, who is 5 months old.

Simone






17,pregnant, and single....sort of

Well for starters, this will probably be a pretty long story.....as it goes back to age 14, and i am now 17.... okay, when i was 14 i was diagnosed with severe cervical displaysia, and they told me that i would more than likely never have kids.... well i had surgery, and dumb ol me, i never went for my check up, and still haven't....well i was with this guy named josh, who i had known for several years, but my mother didn't approve of our relationship, let's just say she's a little old fashioned.....so i was on birth control, not only for safety precautions, but also to regulate my period, which hasn't been regular since i got it at 10 years old...well, while i was trying to figure out a way to break up with josh (sounds cruel, but things were ackward, he was just better as a friend) i ran into my ex, the one prior to josh, whom i thought i loved, hes 22 and im only 17, but for some odd reason, no one disagreed in my family....well this was in november of 07, and in december my mom rushed me to the hospital because i was cramping and bleeding pretty bad, and in between periods), which had only happened once before (when i found out i had cervical displaysia)weirdly enough i was pregnant, and the cramping and bleeding was caused by an extremely bad infection (i had gotten off of this butthole of a guy) and they said i had a 50/50 chance of having a miscarriage....needless to say, i luckily didn't, but ever since that night, the babys father has been denying it, we split up, very shortly afterwards, because he was WAY too immature.....and when he moved out, he began to run his mouth, stating that i had all these std's and what not(because of that infection....what an idiot), that i am whore, etc. i am now 6 months pregnant, obviously i kept it, because i don't believe in abortion, nor do i think i could carry a kid for nine months, then just hand it over to some stranger....and have had one failed relationship since him, and am currently "talking" to another guy who is 29, he is so supportive and wants to be with me, but he says he wants to wait things out.....i.e. take them slow, because he has a feeling Paul (the babys father) is gonna all the sudden claim the baby once it's born (he claims the baby when he feels like it) well im happy with this new guy, and dont blame him for wanting to see what happens, but paul will not leave me alone, he has since asked me to marry him, i said no, because he's abusive, forced me to have sex with him, and is an asshole, if i didn't have a heart, i would make it so he couldn't see the baby at all, trust me i could, for the above stated reasons, and he's a drunk, a druggie, and has been in jail 2 times this year already......he's a low life.....on top of all this, basically my whole family has disowned me, all except for my mom (who is better, but still needs a little bit of time), and of all people, my step-mom.....it's kind of weird....but this new guy is not only 11 years older (i will be 18 in less then 2 months)and he's black and i'm white, and that's the same problem my mother had with josh, so im confused, and it sucks, my life is so messed up, but im trying to make it better.....i was depressed before i got pregnant, and with all of this added stuff, i go through these weird thoughts every day on how happy i am to have this oppurtunity, after being told i could prolly never have kids, and then thinking why am i doing this, but luckily i have my mom, my over enthusiaistic step- mom, and the new guy shawn, im starting to fall for him he's great.......but yea, i know if i can do it, anyone can, oh did i mention on top of this, i got kicked out, moved back in, and am at risk of failing my senior year?...lol....so yea, to all the young mothers and mothers-to-be out there, just please keep your head up.....if not for yourself, for the unborn life you have created...and screw what people say, just cause youre young and pregnant, it doesnt make you a slut or a whore, or a bad person, everybody makes mistakes, its just that some people grow up and take responsibility for their actions....

Jillian






Pregnant

I was 19 when i met Matt. I had recently broke up with my previous long term partner and was still healing. Although i was living with my three best friends at the time and enjoying life, clubbing and socializing when i could. I felt like i was loving life and enjoying every minute but then i got sweeped off my feet by this amazing guy who i fell in love with.

Matt was so romantic. He would hold my bad for me if i needed, get me a drink without asking, opening car doors for me and most of all he did love me more than anything. One night he picked me up from work as he usually did and broke the news to me that his ex was pregnant. I was devastated, so was he. But i told him we would work through it, because i loved him through anything. Time went by and i moved into his parents to save money, but later on found i wanted my own freedom. That was when Matt and i moved into our gorgeous new home.

It was Matts 22nd birthday in Janurary 08 when we found out i was pregnant. From then on he was so cold towards me. He suddenly didnt love me the way he use to. He would constantly put me down, and suddenly i didnt matter anymore. But having a child to the guy i loved was a dream come true. We continued to stay together, but for the fact he was and still is my world.

April 11th came around shortly, when his ex gave birth to a baby girl. That week was really hard for me because the guy i truly loved was sharing his first experience with his ex. The day of the birth we broke up and he moved back to his parents. I was so upset.

I never wanted to become a single mum, but now im 20 yrs old and 5months pregnant awaiting the arrival of a baby boy named Tyler. Matt says he will be there for his son and help us out, but so far he's at the pub with his mates while im struggling to pay the rent and bills he left me with to keep a roof over my head, while he's out living at his parents for free, clubbing every weekend, driving a luxury car while im catching the train to work everyday to just make enough to survive.

At the moment i feel like why should he be apart of Tyler's life when he has not brought or thought of anything for when he arrives in this world. He's not there at the moment feeling our son kick or watching him on an u/sound or helping me decorate Tyler's room, instead he's out drinking and everything else i don't want to think of. Im so angry at him for leaving us in this situation, i cant afford the rent once bubs born, and i cant go anywhere else. After being through so much happiness with him, making me feel like a princess but yet so much heartache i still love him from the moment i met him.

I cant wait for Tyler, who is due on the 7th Sept 08 and i wish the best of luck to all other single mums out there like me with their own sticky situations. We can do it, even if we are struggling, or feel alone or scared. We just have to have some faith and look forward to the best of times. I hope you all got some advice from my story that i was in love, maybe just like you, and i am having a child to someone i want Tyler to be apart of, even if he isnt the perfect father.

Cara






Life Goes On.....

Well in 18 and have a beautiful 10 month old baby girl!! I used to be that straight A student.... my whole family trusted me and well thought the best of me.... when i was 15 I met Joe.. it was love at first sight..we went out for a whole year before we decided to have sex...and after we did our relationship was great... it wasnt til 5 months later that i found out I was pregnant.. when i told him he was super happy, afterall he had always wanted to have a family young. I told my mom and she was very diasappointed with me but not mad. Soon after we got out own apartment and thats when everything changed. He started acting really different with me and after a year we realized that the love just wasnt there anymore and he had started drinking and smoking and I couldnt take it anymore.... so we split up.. now i live with my mom and work and go to college... Im not gonna lie its hard being a single parent but after all the hard work EVERYTHING IS WORTH IT..... AND LIFE GOES ON!! Looking at my babys beautiful face makes everything soo much easier and i know that someday i will find the right guy who loves me and my daughter but for now im not in a hurry to find him..... im just enjoying my daughter.. me and her father get along good were still friends and hes very involved with her and we hope to keep the communication between us for the babys sake... but everyone just remember that just because a few hard rocks get in our way it doesnt mean that you cant do it just believe in yourself and youll find the strenght in yourself!!!1

LM






just to please my father.

im 15 and still in high school. around febuary 2008 i met a guy. luis. he was just supposed to be a rebound. so i thought. i ended up getting pregnant, and he ended up not really carinq. he told me to get an abortion cause he wouldent be around. i broke into tears, cause secretly i feel in love with him. i told my parents i was pregnant my dad tried to hit me, than he called me a slut and told me to leave the house. my step mom called me dumb. the only person i had in my life was my ex, and he knew i was pregnant by another man and he told me he wanted to take full responsibillity for me and the baby. i told my dad i needed a plane ticket and that he'd never have to see me again. he told me to get in tthe car. we drove for hours. and finally stopped at a clinic in miami downtown. we stepped inside and he told the lady at the front desk we were there for an abortion. i paniced not knowinq what to do. i went through the abortion. and my ex boyfreind alex? he ended up leaving me. so now i'm on deppresion pills and spend most days smoking pot and crying. if i could go back in time i'd stop myself from getting the abortion just to please my dad. even after i got the abortion, he treats me like shit. i wake up everday thinking about my unborn child that i killed, than i wish death upon myself.

Jael







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