Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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15 and pregnant


First of all let me tell everyone that an abortion will haunt you forever. If you are not ready to take care of a baby, then girls, you probably shouldnt be having unprotected sex. I learned the hard way.

I am 15 and 20 weeks pregnant. I have the best boyfriend in the world. He is 20 and he has a great paying job. When i told him i was pregnant, i cried because i was scared and didnt know what to do. Me and my boyfreind came to the decision of getting an abortion. I called a local clinic and made an appointment to have my abortion two days after christmas and it was going to cost $800 becasue of how far along i was but my boyfreind was willing to pay for it.

That night i couldnt sleep and kept having horrible dreams about babies and would wake up crying. I knew i coulnt go through with the abortion but i thought it was the best thing for me being so young. About 3 days later my boyfriend told me that he coulndt live with knowing that he payed a doctor to kill our unborn child so we decided we were going to keep it. We talked to my mom and she was excited to be a grandma even though she thought she was too young to be one! lol.

Im impatiently waiting for my baby to get here (in june) and i could never be happier with my decission. I didnt even get an abortion and i felt horrible every second thinking of the fact of killing my baby.

Lauren






TRyin a new beginning

I found out i was pregnant when i was 16. I gave birth to a baby boy named izaiah emmanuel on march 13, 2007. He was so beautiful and he meant the world to me. His father was the best thing that ever happened but he started changing alot when we found out we were pregnant.

My boyfriend got locked up and i had to deal with everything on my own. He was able to attend at the birth but was almost never there. it was a sad feelin for me and i needed him to be there. Then when izaiah was 7 mths old the baby daddy's mom took him away from me. i feel that she paid them to convince them that i had hurt my son. it was never like that. I misss him alot and i regret puttin up with his father because he used to beat me for nuttin.

i miss izaiah emmnuel and i really wish he were here. wat suxs is that i cant see him hold him or be near him. they took off to Cuba ane never plan to come back. i guess that its the way life is. but like i say never say never.

i know that one day i'll have him back in my arms.

Alma






Not another statistic

I was going through a rough patch at fourteen: my dad hadn't long since passed away, my mum was depressed, and Grace and Jess - my older sisters - had both moved out. It was then that I met Dustin. And no it wasn't love at first sight, and no he wasn't handsome and charming and witty, and no it wasn't a Casanova romance and no he didn't sweep me off my feet. But that didn't matter. It felt strangely liberating to simply throw yourself at the first person who took you. We stayed together for about five months, up to the fortnight after my 15th birthday.

Four weeks later I found out I was pregnant, but it took another eight months before I accepted it. Telling my mum was the worst. She replied, saying that she already knew. Mother's intuition. She didn't scream, she didn't shout she just told me I was her greatest disappointment and walked quietly back upstairs. It crushed me. Screaming, hurling abuse anything would be better than her simple, quiet rejection.

I moved out a few weeks later with Jess. I've always been closest to her out of my siblings, and as Grace was always the first to judge me and revising for her sophomore exams I didn't think I'd be welcome on her doorstep. Halfway through my pregnancy we decided that my heart really wasn't in adoption, and so on the 18th March I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Megan-Jade. I have never regretted it once.

Being a single mom isn't an easy ride, I admit. It's hard being seventeen with a two year old in tow, and even harder without a steady boyfriend or wedding ring. I know most people I meet immediately dismiss me as a slut whenever they see me and Megan-Jade together. But I don't count myself as just another teen-pregnancy-single-mum statistic. Being a single mum to Megan-Jade has brought a sense of purpose and direction to my life, its put things in perspective. I've learned to stand on my own two feet, and now that Grace is moving with her boyfriend to Cork I'm going to have to become even more independent. I'm studying to be a nurse and have nearly completed my first year. And life is looking up.

Michaela






Well i'm a single mom of 1

Hello my name is Ashley.
Iím 19 and a single mom of 1..i was preg with her when I was 16..........I didnít know how to tell her dad...at all and when I did he didnít believe me....he took me for d.n.a and he found out he was 99.9% the dad....but now it feels like he has no time for her anymore...

No name






I was 17 when I found out....

I have been a single mom now for more than 7 years (if you count the pregnancy). I was 17 when I found out, 18 when I had her. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me 6 days before I found out, 3 days after I had conceived. Believe me, it was the hardest time of my life. I'm now about to turn 25 and I can't tell you how much my life has turned around. My family has become closer, I've worked my butt off and now live with my daughter in a nice apartment and am about to marry the love of my life who accepts my daughter as his own.

We are currently trying for baby #2. When we started trying, all of my insecurities from the first time came flooding back. Its hard when you are doing it alone. My daughter's father has nothing to do with her. He has seen her maybe 7 times the entire time she has been alive, and if we put the time together --- it would maybe add up to 5 hours...and she turns 7 in February.

Its been difficult, because he blames her for not doing anything with his life. But she can't ruin his life is she's not a part of it. His parents haven't seen her in two years, and didn't send anything for her birthday or Christmas last year. But my family has made up for their loss, and now my boyfriend's family is making up for the loss as well. Its been a hard journey, but its worth it. I don't regret anything that I've done since finding out I was pregnant. I went back to school my senior year with a bulging tummy and had to walk down the hall facing people who I once called friends, but now wanted nothing to do with me. Karma is real -- the two girls who told my entire high school that I was pregnant before I came back --- they both have two kids each and are single moms. So keep your head up, it does get better....I promise!

ELLAMUM







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