Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Jayla La'Miyah


My name is Dionne i am 17 and my daughter Jayla just turned 2 months today! When i found out i was pregnant i was mad at my self for letting this happen. I never would have thought this would happen to me.Jamel Jayla's dad and me were going out for a good year , i told him i was pregnant and said he was going to be there for me. But as son as Jayla got here he dissapeared. I dont regret that night i had sex because i wouldnt have my beautiful baby girl!

Dionne






16 & pregnant!

I am a proud young mother to my gorgeous gurgling daughter, Taya Louise, she is now three months old.

Becoming pregnant in high school was not something that I planned. I was a high achiever with excellent grades! Yeah, I partied & had really wild times, but that was during weekends & holidays.

My daughters father is one of my close male friends who I have known for years now.

We conceived our baby at a house party, my party in fact that was a celebration for my sixteenth birthday. We got drunk & things happened that perhaps shouldn't of. We were careful but the protection failed.
We both knew that it was always a possibility that it would result in me becoming pregnant, but we shrugged it off, thinking that it would never happen to us! How wrong were we?!

A few weeks later I had sore breasts, my period was late & I just generally didn't feel my usual self. I was falling asleep in class & I could no longer concentrate! Eventually I took a home pregnancy test which revealed that I was infact pregnant.
I immediately informed the father.

The father reacted calmly, he told me that he would support me no matter what, & he did stick to his word.
We both decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.

Together we both attended the appointments & the scans. Seeing our baby for the first time was magical. I will never forget the overwelmness that came over me that moment when she appeared on the screen. At the later scan we discovered we would be having a daughter, perfect!:)

Whilst all this was happening I was still attending high school. My grades did suffer as I couldn't always make it in, some days I would feel so tired & sick that I had to lie in bed all day long! My friends supported me & never let me down during my pregnancy!
The teachers understood my condition, although some of them weren't so considerate...

My mother was there for me also, but she was highly angry at me. I don't think she can ever forget the stress I put her under, emotionally aswell as financially. She stood by my side throughout though.

The birth was long, tiresome & beyond painful! Eventually our little girl arrived, greeted by her mother & her doting father. We both knew that we had fallen in love with her instantly.

Being a young mother hasn't been easy these three months. It's grueling & very hard work but it's totally worth it when I look into my daughters eyes. The father & I are not together but we remain close, he sees her almost every day & is always round at the house.

I am still studying & I hope to start college soon. I want the best for my daughter:)

Scarlett






15 & Pregnant

Well I found out I was pregnant in the beginning of my 2nd trimester and I cried, I mean who wouldn't? I didn't want to have a baby especially being only 15 and single. I come from a small town and everybody found out I was pregnant in less then a week, literally EVERYBODY! So I decided to move in with one of my sisters in a bigger city and start a new school. I like the school I go to but now that I'm due in just 4 weeks everything is starting to hit me; labor pains, the tearing, waking up in the middle of the night, a child's life coming into this world that I'm responsible for...... I made some new friends and one of them is my age and she just recently had a baby girl, she's 2 months old. My other friends however are not pregnant or have kids. One of them always tells me she wants to have a baby and I just can't get it thru her head that having a baby young is not fun. My friends from my hometown hardly speak to me so its hard now. I wasn't scared about giving birth before but now I am. I don't know what to expect.. I'm especially scared about waking up in the middle of the night like how am I gonna know why the baby is crying? I don't know how I'm gonna do it with school, there is a free in school day care but what I mean is staying awake in class. I enjoy feeling my son kick inside of me its a undescribable feeling knowing that somebody is growing inside of you. I'm excited to see what my son will look like but I'm not excited about staying up all night feeding and changing a baby. I'm scared that I'll hurt him while I'm changing or bathing him. I hope I don't. The sister I live with is gay and her and her girlfriend have been trying to have a baby but my sister can't get pregnant, I am thinking about letting them adopt my son but then I'm gonna miss out on his first steps or him calling me mom. I understand its gonna be hard raising a baby that's why I'm thinking about giving him to my sister but I wanna be there for MY son. I want him to call me mom. One of my other sisters however got pregnant young and now has 3 kids from 3 different guys and is only 22 with no high school diploma or GED. I don't want to end up like that.. I want to be able to raise my son and myself without having to depend on a man. My baby's dad is not in his life so he's gonna have my last name. I give props to single parents but I think kids should have both parents whether they be heterosexuals or homosexuals, I don't mind either one. Everybody asks me if I'm ready to have a child and be responsible and all I say is "I have no choice." I don't regret my son but I do regret having sex at such a young age knowing the conciquences (misspelled?) of having unprotected sex. I'm terrified of being a mom but I have to face it now. My advice to teens THINKING they want a baby or THINK there ready for one and THINK there significant other will stay with them if they have a baby is no matter what your significant other says there's a really small chance of them staying with you and if they do stay there's a big possibility there cheating. No one is ever ready for a baby no matter what the age and no one can ever be ready to have one. I believe baby's are miracles, like how can a baby start from one tiny cell to a human being? I think its so magical. But my advice is wait. Wait till you can afford one. Good luck to all teen moms, including myself, and to teens that are sexually active and think they can have a baby, think again. Don't get pregnant and talk to your parents about getting on the pill or having condoms. They might not be thrilled your having sex but at least they know you are being careful. I wish I would have talked to my mom about getting on the pill but its too late now. After the baby is born I VOW to not have sex till I'm ready but I do plan on getting on the pill just o be on the safe side. I hope teens know about the conciquences of having unprotected sex and make smart decisions. "Having sex with him wont make him love you and having a baby won't make him stay." My favorite quote... Thanks for reading my story.

Scarlett






Almost an immaculate conception :)

I found out I was pregnant 1 week ago. I'm 35 years old, so there is no way I would even consider abortion. I have been pregnant once before, when I was 19 years old (hence why I am sharing my story here). I had an abortion, and I think I never really got over it. The child would be 15 now and I am sure I could have coped some way. So, with the new pregnancy I see it as a beautiful but very surprising gift. How did it happen? I was having a particularly hard day as I went for a higher position at work and was sure I botched the interview, so I invited my friend around for some drinks to commiserate.We both ended up quite drunk and he ended up sleeping in my bed. The reason why I am so surprised is that we fooled around for such a short time, intercourse was less than 2 minutes and he didn't come. Something definitely must have come out though! (I was with my past partner for three years and never got pregnant, we were trying, no birth control, but now I realize it must have been him, probably due to his career in diving, some of his friends are sterile).

Recently, I my breasts starting hurting, I felt really tired and the true red flag was no period. So, I took a home pregnancy test and sure enough, those two blue lines appeared immediately. The next day, I went to the doctor and he confirmed 8 weeks pregnant. Initially I was very happy. I was wondering lately how I was going to have a baby with no partner and 5 years until 40. I was thinking about donors and overseas adoption, freezing my eggs and so on. Now I definitely don't have to.

When I told my friend, he wavered through shock, excitement, and even suggested marriage. Now he is back to freaking out and doesn't know how to tell his family and has told me he doesn't want a baby.

This week has been particularly hard, as I have been sick and I really want him to support me emotionally more than anything. It seems like he is going through a denial period. I told him last night that I haven't been feeling very well and he asked me what the matter was. I said 'What's the matter, seriously?' I really hope he comes around to the idea soon.

I think it's a boy, and I am really excited about having a little man in my life. I know it will be tough, but I have a very good job, enough leave for about 8 months fully paid when I first have the baby and a loving and supportive family. I just really want my friend to be involved as a father in my baby's life.

Katie






16 and I Am Pregnant

I never imagined becoming pregnant at 16 as a Sophomore in high school!!! I got pregnant about a month and two days ago and i'm learning all about how my baby is growing and about the things i can and can't do now with a baby in my tummy. The next years to come are going to be wonderful and hard all at the same time.By the way i am going to keep my baby. i know that it is going to change my life forever and also so you know i had a miscarriage last year!!! I have so many friends that are or have been pregnant and before i got pregnant they told me to try NOT to get pregnant. they also said that you will love it and hate being pregnant and at the end your life will be changed forever even if you don't give your baby up for adoption it will still change.

Bethany Cadwallader







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