Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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my nightmare


I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. i wanted to be a mum for so long and was so excited to be pregnant. i couldnt and still cant believe that my dreams are gone and shattered. i cant even look at anyone who is pregnant without wondering what i did wrong. im so scared to go through it again but hopefully having a baby one day will make the pain go away. thankyou to everyone who has shared their story. i didnt think that anyone understood how i felt, but we have all gone through the same thing and this is a huge comfort to me. thankyou, i am so glad i came across this site

Amber






ANGEL STRAW

my boyfriend an i had been going out for 6 years. february 2008 i started to feel something so wrong in my body. my cheeks are flushing red all the time, and my ears too. I never had the slighest idea that i am pregnant. we have been trying for the past 6 years without any form of contraception. march 5, 2008. i went home from work like usual, while my bf was still at our office. i test myself, knowing that it will be a thin pink line, i just ignored by not looking at it, after ten minutes, i decided to check it. I was about to faint when i saw two thin lines which indicate i was pregnant. after trying another 2 sets of tests, i was convinced that i was pregnant. it was such a joy for me and my bf.
i had a transvaginal u/s after 3 days and shows i was 6weeks4 days pregnant. the baby had a strong hearbeat.
i was counting weeks and even days. my bf and i were so elated that we begun buying clothes for our lil one. at dinner, my bf cooks delicious foods for me, and at work, he will sneak into my cubicle and touch my belly and plant kisses on my tummy. well, it ended a very happy pregnancy. after three weeks, i visited the OB again. had another transvaginal u/s. and there was my lovely kid, no movement though, but, with a strong heartbeat. the CRL shows 9weeks0days.
Had a video taken and we were so proud of our huge accomplishment. and we were starting to think of names for our lil one.
after two weeks, i went to see the OB because, i had some cramps and a slight discharge. had to go through another transvaginal u/s. i was so silent when my doctor said " no heartbeat, the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks"... 9 weeks and 0 days!! that was the same day that i had my second u/s. did he died that day??? i was carrying a dead baby for two weeks and nothing comforts me during that long anguished time i was inside the clinic. my bf was holding the camera, and while i passed by him, he asked me " what happened" i cannot bear to look at him in the eye. and we took the stairs instead of the lift. I cried a lot and my bf just stare at me. blankly and that hurted even more.

On friday night, april 11, 2008, i started to bleed, at first it was a brownish discharged and later on turned to a heavy bleeding. Saturday morning, april 12, 2008, my bf and auntie left me as they will have to work., i was left having pain which lasted only for 1 hour and a half. i was on the phone with my bf when i shouted that he should come home, as i was having a deep but tolerable pain in my abdomen and in my pelvic area.

suddenly, a loud thud from my nappy was felt, and a little while, i felt that something like slippery came out. my bf came just came in time, i went to the washroom, and closed my eyes as i took off my panties and napkin.

my bf checked it, and there was our lil angel, Zachaeus Isaiah Ulrich, born @ 9 weeks. the pain and the sorrow mixed as i lay in my bed that night. Nothing can make me feel so strong. except the truth that God took my angel away maybe because my angel is indeed an angel who asked God to chose me to be his earthly mother.

the doctor didnt perform a d/c instead she put me on antibiotics. i hope, i will get better soon, as im still feeling so weak.

i had given a nick name to my kid, STRAW, for i loved to eat a lot of strawberries for the whole 3 weeks i knew i was pregnant.

now, i dont know where will i pick up the remains of my shattered heart. my bf has been so supportive and has been so strong for both of us, despite knowing that, he is also broken from this whole ordeal.

i missed my angel STRAW..we still havent had the courage to bury him.

Missing him.. and he will be our first sweetie..

cristinazarah






Losing My Son

I never thought I would ever be going through this type of loss. I am the mother of two healthy boys, 5 and 2. I just lost my baby boy on April 2, 2008. I was 16 1/2 weeks pregnant. I thought everything was going well. When I first learned I was pregnant, I found out I had an 8cm cysts on my left ovary. Not sure if that's what caused me to lose my son. It hurts so bad. I miss him so much. The Doctors kept telling me he was alright. He was doing just fine when they did their ultrasounds. But on that morning I don't know what went wrong. I couldn't sleep that night. I kept going to the bathroom. Then all of a sudden I was in so much pain. My mother rushed me to the ER and shortly after I was holding my son in my hand asking God why. We had a burial for him on April 9, 2008. It's been really hard. I wonder what he would have been like. He looked just like my youngest son. I know in time God will show us the answers. But for now it's hour by hour and day by day dealing with the pain until we can see him again.

Torie Cashaw






Not Giving Up!!!

Hello All, I too can relate to what we all are feeling. I had a still birth at 8 months. I was devistated as we were not told that the baby had died until I was in labor. I was getting a heart beat, but to my surprise an emegency c-section had to be done..when I woke up I was told that the baby did not make it. That was two years ago now and it still feels like yesterday..after 14 months of trying to conceive again i finally I did. I was so shocked and surprised as I was sick of doing HMP and seeing negatiive that when I saw positive I thought I was in a dreamland...any how I told my self not to get my hopes up too much....I went to the Doctor and all was well. a month ago wednesday I woke up and when I wiped I saw blood. I said to myself this could never be. I must be dreaming or had a night mare...I rush to the doctor he did an ultra sound and he advised me that there was no heartbeat...I just lost it I broke down in tears and ask god why me. I was 9 weeks pregnant and I feel it deep down that it was a girl..but I am encouraging all of us that only god knows why and never give up on your dreams....time and intercourse are the best I was advised by my gyno. so having intercourse every night does not increase your chances, my doctor has advised me that up to the 5th day leading to your ovulation you must not have intercourse as the sperm count will be higher...anyway baby dust to all..and I am trying again this month as I already had a regular period..

MIA TORREY






lost angels

I feel that it is necessary for me to share my story with all the grieving mothers out there. Perhaps my story can offer a ray of hope for you in your lowest moments. I became pregnant for the first time when I was only 19 yrs old. I had always had irregular menstral periods and thought that becoming pregnant would be almost impossible. However, one night I felt an overpowering urge to take a HPT. It was positive. At first I couldn't believe it, but then I became ecstatic. I was pregnant. I was scheduled for a Dr's appointment at 12 weeks. While wating at the office to get my US scan, I began to bleed. The US confirmed that my baby had been dead for 2 weeks. I was devastated. I was told to go home and let nature take its course. I bleed heavily and was in excruciating pain for 2 days. I passed the baby on my own and required no further medical interventions. I couldn't understand why this happened to me. I felt as if all my hopes and dreams of motherhood were viciously ripped from me. Eventually, I moved on and began to think about becoming pregnant again. 6 months later, I was pregnant again. I prayed daily that everything would be fine. Again at 12 weeks while at work, I began to bleed slightly. Not willing to take any chances, I immediatly went to the ER. The US showed that I had a sack in my abdomen but no baby. The Dr said that the baby had reabsorbed back into my body. Again I was sent home and naturally miscarried the sack. I felt all my dreams of motherhood slipping away from me. I became depressed. My method of coping with the loss was to turn to alcohol. My partner and I began to spend less and less time together. Most of my free time was spent drinking and partying with friends. I decided that I would wait a while before trying to beome pregnant again. I needed a break from all the heartache. Amazingly, 3 months later I was pregnant again. I was so scared. I didn't want to let myself believe that this pregnancy would be any different. I decided to see a better DR. He was sort of a specialist of pregnancy. After my first visit, he decided that at 7 weeks pregnant, I would start progesterone injections top try and help sustain the pregnancy. Each day was a struggle for me emotionally. At each appointment, I would hold my breath until the Dr confirmed that everything looked good. Nine months later I became the proud mother of a 7lb6oz baby boy. He was perfectly healthy. I couldn't believe it, I was finally a mother. Worry and fear clouded my brain throughout the whole preganacy and never left until I held my son for the first time. My son is now 5 years old and doing great. Sometimes, I still find it hard to believe that he is truly mine. Presently, I am about 11 weeks pregnant. The first time since my son was born 5 yrs ago. I am clouded with the fear now as I was then. I feel that my pregnancy future is uncertain and am afraid to hope too much right now. At 9 weeks the US showed a healthy heart beat and the baby was moving everywhere. Still I worry. I have had slight cramping since the pregnancy began but the DR says everything is OK. I can only pray that god will watch over my little bundle of joy. The point of my story ladies is this: Never give up hope because your joy could be just around the corner and you'll never know unless you try. Good luck and God bless to every one.

MIA TORREY







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