Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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Eli David


I gave birth to my second son, Eli David on June 17th, 2010. He was born a sleeing angel. All of my doctor's visits were normal, had weekly ultrasounds to make sure everything was going well and there were no problems. Around 10:30 pm on the 16th I felt Eli move for the last time. At 11 pm I went to the bathroom and felt a little pop. I was 36 weeks pregnant and assumed that my water had broken b/c at my last doctor's visit I was already 2 cm dilated. When I looked down I saw I was gushing blood and knew something was wrong. My husband rushed me to the hospital and once they they used the monitors, dopplar, and two ultrasounds and they couldn't find his heartbeat. Those are the most devastating words I've ever heard, "I'm sorry, we've lost the heartbeat." I laid in labor until he was born at 10:41 am, a perfectly healthy 6lb 3oz, 20.5 in long baby boy. He died from a cord accident. The cord wrapped around his neck twice and had tied itself in a knot. Can't believe the only explanation for my son's death is a cord accident. We spent hours with him holding him and kissing him, cherishing every second. The funeral home came and picked my baby up at 6pm. We held his funeral on June 21st, a day after Father's Day. It was the most difficult thing we've ever done. Not a day goes by that I don't think about or cry over my Eli. I found the perfect stone and placed it on his grave it reads: "It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn't go alone, part of me went with you, the day God called you home." I love and miss you everyday, Eli!

Amber






Not yet

I'm 16 years old. April 4th 2009 I found out I was pregnant four days later I miscarried on the toilet. To this day I miss my baby, I had no idea the gender but I always had a feeling it was a boy. I was two weeks an four days with him. It was a very difficult time for me as the father already has two children with a girl overseas and I always knew we weren't ment to be.(obviously)I remember knowing I wasn't going to have the baby, I had the worst cramps on and off for those two weeks and was constantly tired even before I took the pregnancy. I've always wondered what my life would be like if I had him. I know he'll come back too me one day when I'm in a healthy relationship an am stable enough to take care of us both. I've named him vann greyer an I know it seems ridiculous as I didn't have him long but I still cannot look at a baby boy without envying the mother. But I look forward to the day I can hold my son in my arms...

Cheri






MC at 14 weeks 5 days

I'm sorry this is so long but I really want to tell my whole story. I have no friends, unless you count face book and no one has even asked if I'm ok after my ordeal. I just want to tell it for once. I am a 22 year old mother of a three year old. I live with my son's father, we have been together for 4 years. Our first son was born with a condition called gastroschsis where his intestines developed outside of his stomach which required him to be in the hospital for the first 7 weeks. As soon as we got home from the hospital, we found out that he also had a genetic condition called tuberous sclerosis. Being 18,first semester of college,and pregnant especially with a high risk pregnancy was definitely a challenging and stressful time for us and our parents. The second time around felt so different. We were both working steady jobs with great income, had managed to even scrape up some savings, we were really excited.
When I had my first son, I gained a ton of weight, and three years later I am still struggling to loose it. After finally getting health insurance through my job, I decided to seek medical help to loose the weight. In March of 2010 I went to this weight loss place that utilizes HCG. I was doing really well, I lost 14 pounds in the first 2 weeks. In April, my job asked me to go out of town for 3 weeks to help open up a new store. I work for a pretty high end fashion retailer, I was excited for the opportunity (and the money)and accepted. I arrived on the 13th. I cant remember exactly when the morning sickness started but I was throwing up at work, breaking out in cold sweats, dripping in sweat, and one day I even came to the hotel partially blinded. I was reading a book and could not see the words on the page, it was a really weird experience. My bf came to visit me in NC and i told him to bring a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it was positive. I was really skeptical at first because i was taking hcg injections which is what a home pregnancy test tests for. so i decided to wait 14 day stop taking the shots and take another test. positive. We were ecstatic. I waited until I got home to go to the doctor who delivered my first son. We were totally shocked to find out that I was 12.5 weeks. Completely amazed. Imagine my shock when we heard the baby's heartbeat at our first doctors appointment. The next day we came back for an ultrasound and it dated for a due date of December 2. I had a cousin due Nov. 30. They sent me to a high risk pregnancy because my bp was slightly elevated so i ended up having another ultrasound at about 13.5 weeks. We were so happy to see that the baby's stomach cavity had closed and that there would not be another bout of gastroschsis. Again, just total excitement. At about 14 weeks, one day right before bed I started having mild period like cramp. They lasted through out the night without letting up at all and actually got a lot worse. I couldn't sleep. I researched on the internet cramping during pregnancy and everyone said usually cramping without bleeding is normal. So i decided to wait and see if I started bleeding before I called my doctor. Sure enough that night, I started spotting. This was Wednesday night, Thursday we went in to the doctor, of course by this time the cramps had stopped although they had been steady and very painful right up until an hour before the appointment. By this time i was sure i was miscarrying. we heard the heartbeat, relief, extreme relief, my cervix wasn't dilated at all, more hope, there was just a little bit of blood. My doc said everything was fine, take it easy, gave me a prescription for pain and sent me home. The bleeding eventually let up over the night and the next morning. my bf left for work at around 2.30 as soon as he left, i got up to go to the bathroom and a gush of fluid left my body. i thought it was blood, it was clear, it soaked through my pad, underwear and pants. I called my bf and my doctor, she told me leaking is normal during first trimester, even though i was technically in the second. and don't worry about it. This was Friday. On Saturday the same thing happened, but this time, it was blood. I did not want to go to the emergency room, my cousin another one had had a miscarriage in march and the er was so rude and uncaring, i didn't think i could deal with that type of behavior on top of all the emotions i was feeling. The bleeding lasted 3 days finally tapering off Monday night. Tuesday, not a drop of blood, but when my bf came home that night, I couldn't sleep and decided to stay on the couch and read. I stayed up all night. Around 6, i started having mild period like cramps again. these didn't feel anything like the ones i felt at the beginning they weren't as painful, although they felt more purposeful. over the next hour, the intensity steadily increased, i was getting really uncomfortable. i remember thinking when they first started, OK body stop fooling with me, why are you acting up when everything is fine... not so. i was in labor. i am so grateful my mom happened to be staying with us, she woke up around 7 and i called her into the bathroom, she tried to convince me to go to the er, i wanted to wait the 2 hours until my Dr office opened turns out i wouldn't have made it to either. My bf came in the bathroom and suddenly i had three powerful contractions back to back, just when i thought i couldn't take it anymore, my baby passed out of me. We later found out she was our lil girl we were hoping for. I cannot express the sadness and loss i have felt over the last couple weeks. Since the baby passed through whole, and not as clots, my doc opted to forgo a d&c which was good because i would have refused one anyway, and gave me some medicine to start contractions and push any remaining tissue out. this was absolutely the worst experience of my life

Rian






19 & pregnant

My story began in 2007. I was 19 years old and was carelessly having sexual intercourse with a male friend. A part of me wanted to get pregnant. But i was 19, and I wasnt ready. April 2007, i had my first doctor visit. I was at work earlier that day and didnt feel like my normal self. After my shift i decided to go to the store to buy a pregnancy test. The result read positive. I thought it was impossible, no way was i pregnant. I was no longer sexually active and I was 19!!! I bought three additional tests, they all read positive. After accepting the news, i decided to check myself into the hospital. Just to be certain everything was okay. The doctor and nurse said i was fine and that my baby was as well. They made me wait until they could take me in the room for another ultrasound. Little did I know, that was the first and last time my baby would have a heartbeat. Before I left the hospital, I asked the doctor how far along he thought i was. He said I was at least 13 weeks. An entire trimester went by without me knowing i was pregnant. I didnt have any symptoms, and i wasnt gaining weight. Im 5'4 and 110 lbs currently. i was maybe 105 then. My stomach was flatter than a pancake. But i listened to my doctor, I was going to have a healthy baby.
For two weeks i searched the web to see why i wasnt gaining weight. Finally i read something that stated how big my baby should be. My child should have developed its body, including ears, nose, fingers, toes, etc.. But my ultrasound never showed that. I was confused as to why this was but i needed to wait until my next appointment like the doctor ordered. That day became the worst day of my life. I had another ultrasound, no heartbeat, no movement.. nothing. What the doctors didnt tell me was about Blighted Ovum. Its a situation where the egg implants in the uterus and the sac develop but the embryo stops developing. Im not sure if this was my case. The doctors didnt give many answers to my millions of questions. Either way, its the only solution that makes sense to the problem of my baby never developing properly. 3 years later. I am now 22 yrs old. I always wonder how my life would be different if I gave birth to my baby. I have yet to get pregnant since. I hope there is a chance for me to have a baby in the future. I hope and pray that every woman who has suffered from a miscarriage have the courage to move forward. Once you find it, look for me, I still need help along the way.

JaLo






BABY DAVID

After 39 weeks I delivered on june 2nd of this year a stillborn. I already had a baby shower, was lookling for babysitter for when I go back to work. I was exctasic about his arrival wondering who he is gonna look like.
My last appointment was on may 25, David was very active as usual. The doctor checked his heartbeat and it was normal. My next appointment was scheduled for june 1rst. On monday following memorial weekend me and my mother had a late breakfast. David kicked or so I thought. That night I noticed He did not moved, I figured I had a cold and with the tylenol I took ; probably he was drowsy. At midnighgt I called the nurse hotline from my insurance card,and she reasured me that because I was 7 days from my due date it was normal for the baby not to be so active. On tuesday I had my appointment at 4pm, my boyfriend dropped me and my mother to the clinic. I joked to the doctor that I didn't hear the baby. He checked the heartbeat: no sound he send for another ultrasound still no heartbeat. And then the bad news came the baby had died 48hours ago. I spent 24 hours in labor from that tuesday night till wednesday night. My poor baby had wrapped himself with the umbilical cord, it was so tight around his neck even the midwife had a hard time cutting it. It is still raw for me, I feel sad everytime I see a newborn baby boy. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy.

jennifer laraque







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