Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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I want my child!


I am 34 this year and I had been married for 4 years. My hubby and I tried furiously for a baby ever since we were married. We tried all ways to get pregnant but somehow we couldn't.

We tried IVF last November and I was pregnant! Everybody rejoiced with us; and every minute and second my child was inside my womb was a blessing and joy.

I couldn't believe that the heartbeat of the baby stopped when I went for my 2nd u/s scan. It was just so disbelieving! I wept and burst into tears and wished that my dr's diagnosis were not right. I even went for a 2nd, 3rd opinion but all gynaes told me the heartbeat had stopped around 10 days ago.

I wanted so much to get pregnant again but somehow, another pregnancy cannot take away my pain and grief for this lost child. I just felt I wanted to go with my child too.

My husband and I hugged and wept together before the D&C. The drs and nurses tried to console us but somehow no words or actions can help to reduce our pain.

It has been 3 weeks but I am still grieving and depressed over the loss of the child. Even though he was with me for less than 2 months, my little darling will always live in my heart.


Melissa






Very Anxious

I am a 30 yrs old, I have a 6 yr old boy from a previous partner. Now I have been married for almost 2 yrs and went through 3 misscarriages. The scary thing is that the 3 of them occurred at exactly the same time! At 5 weeks and 6 days I started the spotting. The first misscarriage was due to a oblighted ovum, second one the bleeding started the same 5 wks 6 days but the pregnancy survived and we saw the heart beat 2 wks later but 4 weeks after the first bleeding I had a second bleeding. My OBGYN suggested that I might be having periods during the pregnancy, but after the bleeding has stopped and I went for a check up he told me that my uterus was empty, and that I lost the baby!

2 months ago I got pregnant again and he gave me some hormones but that still didn't work and I lost the baby. He told me that probably there is a chromosomal abnormality and most likely I will not be able to concieve wih my husband!

The thing is when I was pregnant with my son even though it was a good pregnancy at exactly 5 wks and 6 days (I keep records) I started spotting with brownish discarge but only for the one night!

Now I am seeing another dr. and he put me one asprin a day (even though all my tests came out fine) and he said we have to wait and see...now I am on day 25 of my cycle and just too scared...All the people around me who started trying after or just got married either have their babies or are pregnant. I am honestly happy for them....it just feels like I am waiting for some one to call out my name and say its your turn!

Melissa






My heart was broken

I found out I was pregnant at 6weeks along. I bought a home pregnancy test at Walmart and was excited about taking the test. I went in to the public bathroom at the Walmart and indeed it was confirmed. I had my 5-year-old daughter with me and was so excited to share the news with her. I called my husband from the pay phone; too excited to wait until he returned home from work. He was just as excited.

The next day I got up to use the bathroom and when I wiped I had some blood. I was so scared I got my daughter up and immediately drove to the hospital. The ER Dr. did an ultrasound to see how far along I was, since I didnít remember when my last period was. He confirmed that I was six weeks. I didn't think any thing of it but the nurse was setting me up for an internal and the Dr. told her that he was not doing an internal. I didnít question it then because I was so excited about the ultrasound and was convinced that it was attachment bleeding. My Dr. was on vacation; this was around the Christmas holiday.

The next day I was fine and began to share the news with family and friends. I went to the bathroom, wiped and saw more blood. I was really scared. I called the Drs. office and they said that I could come in for an ultrasound that Thursday. I went in and the tech said that everything looked good; the baby had a healthy heartbeat and was wonderful. I was so happy and my due date was August 16, 2006. About a week later I decided to call my Drs. office with concerns about this clear fluid that would drain out of my vagina, when I got out of bed or just stood up, it was enough that it went through my pants and wet the chair and or bed. I was scared when the Dr. told me to come in that same day within an hour.

I got there and had a pelvic exam. The Dr. said that I had a celvial polyp and that it was holding my cervix open two centimeters and that it was draining this clear fluid. He did a biopsy on this thing, which caused a lot of bleeding. I was put on immediate bed rest. I was very optimistic yet scared and doubtful. I had this odor in my vagina but I was still bleeding and thought that it was the blood with vaginal secretions.

I was ten weeks to the day and when I got up in the morning and saw my daughter off to school and my husband off to work; maybe an hour later I felt really sick, I had the chills that would not go away, and then pain that was so intense in my lower pelvic area and I felt like I could not stop vomiting. My sister in law called and I told her how sick I was. She came to my house. We went to the hospital and they said that I had hyper emesis, they wanted to check my cervix but my Dr. told not to let anyone check my cervix.

I didn't ask why assuming it was because of the pylop. As soon as I was discharged from the hospital I walked in my house and the pelvic pain started all over again. I thought it was ligament pain. It was so intense I could not stand up straight. I took Tylenol, hoping the pain would go away, but no such luck. I thought the baby was fine because I had a sonogram earlier that day at the hospital and they said the baby was fine. I sat on my coach.

Then I felt a sudden gush. I sat there for a minute and thought that it was the clear fluid that was coming out all along. I then got up and just put my hand in my underwear and pulled it out to see nothing but in all actuality I saw bright red blood. I went to the bathroom, and checked; it was blood with clots. I called my mom in law and she came with me to the hospital along with my aunt who was visiting her at her house. My daughter went with my niece. My husband met us at the hospital. I was bleeding very heavily. I took off my clothes and at that time I passed a huge clot. I couldn't look at it. My husband said it looked like a peace of liver.

The Drs. came in and were trying to find the baby and finally they did and put it in a pee cup with some fluid . My baby was about the size of my pointer finger. I developed an infection, which traveled up my vagina because it was open and I was susceptible to all kinds of infections. Due to having an open cervix, I had to have a blood transfusion and was hospitalized for three days. I had the cervical polyp removed and that was the reason for the blood transfusion. Between losing blood from the pregnancy loss the amount of blood loss when they removed the polyp was too much.

I was depressed for at least three months. I could not talk about my loss to anyone without crying severely. I will never forget my baby. His or her birthday would have been on August 16th, 2006, and that day will be special to me for the rest of my life. I didnít think I would have anymore children due to that experience but now less than a year later I'm pregnant and 15 weeks along. Everything is going great, but my anxiety is taking over my life.

I want to get excited about this one but after the last experience I worry so much that I will set myself up for a let down. I pray every night and every week that goes by. I thank God that I made it this far. I had numerous sonograms and they all confirmed that everything is fine. I will have my next one in two weeks - I can't wait.

Going through a miscarriage does something horrible to you; I lost my baby, my child, a future life. And I will never forget my baby. I canít wait until I can feel this one move around in side of me I will be so relieved, and more certain that everything will be O.K.


Jennifer M. Sicignao






angel with wings

My name is Victoria Solano. I was 15 when I first got pregnant...I was almost 2 and a half months when I lost my angel.... It was almost 10:00pm when I went to the restroom and I had started to spot.... I went to the doctor that night and they said that everything was fine. Well I had started to bleed more heavily and like 3 days after I went to my doctor. And he had did a sonogram on me and he had said that the baby was doing fine and had gave me some meds.

Well that day my mom had told me that she did not see a heart beat...And she asked the doctor if she should see the babyís heart beat and he said no....that did not seem right because the last time I went I was 8 weeks and I saw the babies heart beat.... well he had put me on bed rest ...I was on bed rest for 1 month and there came my angel with wings...I lost my angel on Dec18, 2006...

I have not gave up on trying to have a baby ...the doctor here said that I should wait for 3 to 6 months to try once more.... To all you girls out there that have had a loss I hope this will help you with you trying to have one more.... donít give up; it takes time but sooner or later you will have that baby in your arms!!!!


Victoria






Kenzi

I lost Kenzi at a little over 23 weeks. It had already been a hard pregnancy since I was at risk for preterm labor due to my first child. At 20 weeks we found out that Kenzi would be born with an upper arm difference due to a rare syndrome called ABS. We went back to CHOPS in Philly to see if there was anything else wrong. At 21 weeks we were told that I also suffered an amniotic rupture and would be lucky to carry Kenzi to 28 weeks. But I hoped and I prayed and at 22 weeks my dr in Denver said I should be fine.

Everything was fine with Kenzi and I could carry her longer. I was so happy; I could not imagine life without her. I thought of her with her big sister and got ready to plan for her nursery.

On Monday I woke up early in pain and it would not go away. After trying to get Kenzi to move with my Baby Plus machine, she always responded to this when she was not moving much, and that was not working so I called the dr. The drive to the dr was the longest of my life. Once there the ultra sound showed Kenzi not moving and I knew she was dead. I had lost all my fluid and there was nothing that could be done. I wanted to have her right away. I could not have waited. It took from noon on Monday until Tuesday morning at 4:28 for Kenzi to arrive. I held her and looked at how beautiful she was.

I miss her every day. It has been one week and one day and I feel like it was just yesterday. No one understands what it is like. Today I broke down and could not stop crying. My husband tries to understand but how can he? I feel lost and I feel alone. I miss my little girl so much.



Jessica







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