Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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To my son


Dear Isaac,

Your Mommy and Daddy love you so much.
We tried to get pregnant with you for two years and threes weeks before we finally saw two lines on that test strip. I was so excited I couldnít believe my eyes. I called my sister to come over tell me if it was real. It was!!
Two weeks later daddy and I went in for an ultrasound to make sure you were all right, and to our amazement we saw two eggs: you and your speedy little heart beat (111 flickers per minute!), and a sad egg with no baby inside. Despite the sadness of your vanishing twin, we were overjoyed to have seen you. We wanted you so badly. All our hopes and dreams were coming true.
At just five weeks you took your first vacation. We all went to Turks & Caicos. You were given a free ride because you were in my womb. You made me so sick I slept most of the time. I couldnít get in the hot tub, I couldnít go down the waterslide, I couldnít even get a massage and, trust me, you were growing so fast my back was sore. I wish you could have seen your dad on the plane. He was so brave on the way there, and crying like a baby on the way back!
A week after we returned something else came along Ė morning sickness. Oh baby, did you make me sick. Still I was so happy to spend time with you I didnít mind loosing everything I ate to the porcelain god. Together over the next two months we lost 20 pounds. You got bigger; I got smaller. We slept all the time.
April First, I woke up. I felt good. We did some much needed cleaning as daddy was a little lax about the house-work while I was sick.
We got the flu together.
It was while I was sick in bed with the flu that I first felt you move. Just a flutter. An unsettled feeling low in my belly. The most amazing feeling in the world.
One Friday night late that month I woke up feeling pains in my stomach. I went to the bathroom and I swear my heart stopped beating. I saw blood. Red blood. I got your dad and the three of raced to the hospital as fast as we could. We called your grandparents to come. I was so scared I would loose you. The bleeding stopped almost immediately and the doctor saw your heart beating on an ultrasound. You were OK. I spent the next few days resting, not doing anything strenuous. I wanted to protect you.
Nine-thirty the following Monday night I went into labor. Again we rushed to the hospital. The doctors wouldnít do anything.
You were born two-thirty the following morning. April 21, 2009. You were very premature and your lungs were not developed enough to breath. Your first minutes of life were your last. When everything was over I held you in my hands and cried. You were so small. You were so perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, tiny ears, tiny nose. I do not have a picture to put in a scrapbook, but I have that memory and I hold it very dear.
You took a piece of my heart when you went to heaven. You will always have that piece and I will always love you.
Now I am a mommy without a baby to hold in my arms.
I am sorry your short life had to be so hard. Iím sorry we didnít get to know each other.
I love you, my sweet Isaac. Daddy and I will always love you and never forget the time we shared together.

Love always,
Mommy

Dianna Staiger






Lost my dream baby

After 3 yrs of marriage, we thought of finally bringing our dream baby to our world. After 4 mnths of trying, i missed a period still not beliveing i could be pregnant, but I was. I dint to any hpt, direct blood test, i wanted to be just sure. I came back home, phone rang saying "yes you are Pregnant". i count utter one more word. I dialed my husband and I was crying, he thought the result was negative. I was crying heavily with joy, beliveing I was pregnant. Oh wat a beautiful feeling it was. Suddenly I was worried about what to eat, how to walk, sit and all sorts of beautiful things. We both called our parents to share this happy news they had been waiting for so long. I was 5 weeks along. We were so happy we had started visiting baby stores, making plans, reading baby magazines, I was fianlly realizing a beautiful dream. At 6th week, i had a very slight brown spot, i had read it was normal but I was worried, i had my regular visit preponed by 3 days. To our amazement we saw out little baby's heartbeat, we came back with relief an joy that our baby is comfortable inside. Every new day passed with calculated routine, eating, walking and with a new happy feeling. 10 days past, on mothers day (May 10)I passed a heavy dark brown discharge, thinking this was normal, i spoted the whole day, still spotted the next day. Thinking we will go to doc if it dint stop the next day. But the next day was'nt the happy day as beforfe, i passed a huge red clot and i was cramping bad, icalled my husband telling him all this. He was all full of hope, he had reall articles on net abt peoples experience with bleeding and still succesfull, i told him to come home, my instincts were saying the pther story. He was on his way, and was bleeding heavily. having alook at the pot, I saw a ball like thing, I picked it out and I count belive my eyes, there was my baby floating in sac. I stood there watching it silently and shocked. Oh how beautiful it was. I kept strong, i didnt tell my husband a thing on his way, knowing for sure he wont be able to take as he would. I cried all this tiem alot. He knocked the door with a happy smile ensuring me everything would be Ok, but I knw its over. I made him sit and showed him our baby placed in a cup. I remember his facing losing all those hopes he was carrying. He watched it continusly and silent. All this time i was in touch with my doc staff. they had fixed my app. We got ready, carried our baby and the placental tissue along, knowing no doc can do anything anyways now, but we went. They did ultrasound and send u have passed the tissue no need fo D&C.
We were up with endless Qs, but no answer satisfyed us. We came back home, i was a different me, back to where I had strted. We both comforted in each other. I called my mom again, this time with a tragic news, I count stop crying. My husband was worse than me, he cried the entire day, serching answers. I stopped bleeding pretty quickly, here I am now feeling realy healthy. Both of us found a way to be happy and now we are againg happy and laughing cherishing the short but beautiful life and hoping for Good again. Our spirits are high and we are ready to go for it. doc says wait for 2 cycles, but icant lets C.
I love you my first feeling of motherhood

ish






1st MC loss- so sad

I just had a D&C yesterday for a missed miscarriage. I was about 11-12 weeks. I went in for a dating ultrasound to see a beautiful little baby that had no heartbeat. It looked so perfect but the baby had stopped developing at 9 weeks. I could have waited to miscarry naturally but I just couldn't do it. I have three other children and miscarriages seemed like something that happened to other people. I took for granted that things would go as they had before. It just seems like it is over so fast. Four days ago I was planning to move to a new home to make space for this little person and now he/she will never be. It doesn't seem possible. I feel so empty.

My body feels absolutely, perfectly fine today. I'm guilty over that when it should be a relief. It just feels like there should be some physical pain when my heart hurts so very much. How can something so traumatic happen and yet there is no sign of it?

I keep telling myself that it wasn't meant to be, that the baby would have been so sick if it had survived, yada yada yada. It sound good to everyone else but its such a lie. I'm a religious person. I am pretty certain that I'll have more children but I can't understand why, if I'll have more children, why I can't have THIS child. It probably doesn't make sense and is a bit selfish but right now I just want this child, not any other.

When I checked in at the hospital I was crying my eyes out. One of the workers sent me a flower anonymously. The lady that brought me a flower took my hand and told me that she had to have the same thing and that it would take time but eventually everything would be okay. Thank God for her.

I'm keeping my little flower with me everywhere I go right now. It's silly but it means so much to me. With my other children there were many flowers and balloons. With this baby, I have my one small flower to mark its "birth" and passing. My husband can't quite get it and even my mother can't quite get it. But yesterday, there was someone I didn't even know who got it and added a small bit of comfort and I am so very grateful.

I'm sure there will be happier days to come but today I'm mourning the little life that will never be.

Onedayatatime






water break

i was pregnant 16 weeks and my water break i was in hospital for bed rest till 21 weeks but then all the water came out and i had to go to labor the baby came out ofcourse dead cus he was too young to survive ...since then i could nto know why this happned and trying for another baby but its not working out since 9 months....

susu






My Unfortunate Event

My name is Jazmine and I was 12 yrs. old when I started getting sexually active. My life was upside down because I never knew my father, and I thought a man would complete me. My mom was such a strong woman and I love her for that.
I started my first semester in 7th grade without a boyfriend. In the 2nd semester of school after Christmas a new boy started going to our school. He was very attractive and very cute. About a week later I started telling my friends how much I liked him. In about 2 weeks after that he asked me if I wanted to go with him(be his girlfriend)? I said "yes". We spent alot of time together after that.
It was a week before Valentines Day when he asked if I wanted to go with him to the dance of course i said "yes"! During all this time my mother did not know that I had a boyfriend, so when I told her that I was going to the dance with him she was very excited. We went shopping too get the perfect dress for the dance.
At the dance he told me that we were going to the movies afterwards to see a movie since middle school dances end at like 8:00. So then I was like okay that's fine. After the movie I told him my mom wasnt picking me up until another hour, so he took my hand and we walked up to the park where they have a little club house at the top of the hill. When we got up there he told me he wanted, "me to be his first". I had never done it before and I just thought it wouldn't hurt anybody if we did do it so we did "it".
About a week or so later I started to wonder if he used protection, but I never asked so I wouldn't have known anyway. About 2 weeks later I noticed that I had missed my period and that I really didn't feel that well. So I told my mom the whole situation and she decided to take me to the doctor for a pregnancy test and it was positive. I wanted to tell him but I just felt like it was a waste of time and that two teenagers do not need a child anyway so I decided to have an abortion. It really hurt me inside to do this but I knew it was for the best.
I'm now currently in the 8th grade and I still go with the same person I did in 7th and he will never know that I was pregnant with his baby and never will, and I don't regret it.

Jazmin Falls







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