Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
My Little Angel
Me and my husband tried for 15yrs. Not until we were married in 2001 did the doc think about that I might have a problem. He said I had pcos and needed to see a specialist in 2005. I did fertility treatments: one in 2005, 2006. And June this year we changed a few things this time and got pregnant.
I was 20 wks and 2 days when I had my baby. the baby I thought I'd never have. My cervix weaken. But at 3 mths I lost one the follicle that didn't mature. When I was doing my treatments they told me I had 4 and possible (babies) but my estrogen level was too low for all them to be babies. It would only be one or none. I was so excited and scared. But I prayed.
The doc confirmed it was only one but my hcg said more. I had a 214 hcg level on the first day and a 1301 by the 4th day. My numbers were reading more than one baby. At three months I lost one follicle. It was October 27th I went into labor by the time I got to the L&D i was dilated to 5or 6. I was so hurt I could have just died If I knew I would go to heaven with my baby. I started pushing and the first push out came baby 2 (just a follicle) couples pushes later my little Angel (LaTrista) and thinking its placenta time no baby number 4 (just a follicle).
My angel weighed 12oz and the follicles were about the same size. I know how it feels to lose a baby. Both ways its hard but I know God won't put no more on you than you can bare. The next day I had to make funeral arrangements. My Husband and his parents were there for me. I never thought I would bury one my kids, I always figured they bury me.
chemical pregnancy then missed miscarriageI had a chemical pregnancy at 4w3d in may 2007. Became pregnant again in September. Totally paranoid about miscarrying again, checking for blood every time I felt a twinge. Got Went for scan and, surprise surprise, baby had died at 7 weeks. Had D&C. My basic worry is that aged 36 I have left it too late to carry a baby, although I do not seem to have difficulty conceiving. I am also worried as my husband drinks moderately and smokes heavily. On the two occasions we conceived we used Pre-seed. Is it possible that using this allowed dodgy sperm to gain 'entry' when they would normally not have made it? I am new to message boards but feel very alone and worried about the future....
My Precious baby AngelSaturday, November 10th, 2007, I miscarried my baby at 14.5 weeks. I am absolutely devastated, and my only comfort is knowing that my baby is now with God. It's so hard because, this pregnancy was not planned, but I got so excited to be a mom for the first time. I've never wanted anything more in life than to be a mommy. I knew the chances of losing my baby, and was prepared for the worst, but it still hurts all the same.
On October 25th, I woke up with severe bleeding, and immediately called 911. I was taken to the hospital, where they ran blood tests, did an examination, and an ultrasound. This was the first time I got to see my beautiful baby. It all became so real to me, that there was a little miracle growing inside me. The doctors could not find a reason for the bleeding, and told me that everything looked fantastic on the ultrasound; that sometimes, bleeding does occur.
So, I went home, and continued to bleed (at a lessened rate) until October 30th. On Oct. 30th, I started to bleed heavy again, and went back to the hospital. The dr did an exam, and told me everything was fine; to keep an eye out for pain or clots as those were the main concerns. I went home again, and the bleeding subsided once more. On November 6th, I passed a large clot, and was once again on my way to the hospital. They ran blood work, and did another ultrasound. On this ultrasound, the dr found a large (but not the largest she'd seen) Subchorionic Hemorrhage.
This is bleeding between the placenta and the uterus that will either go away on its own, or cause a miscarriage. She told me there was typically a 50/50 chance either way. However, because I was 14 weeks at this stage, my chances for carrying to term were better. So, I went home again to play the waiting game. I prayed and hoped for my baby to be all right.
On Thursday, November 8th, I started to cramp around 8:30pm. I held out on going back to the hospital until just before midnight. They ran another ultrasound on me on Friday, Nov 9th, and told me everything looked the same as it had on Tuesday. That the cramping could mean that either the placenta was going to detach, or the hemorrhage was going to heal. No answers. After my ultrasound, my cramping got worse, but I was told to go home again.
That night, I had the most excruciating cramping pain I've ever suffered. I knew something was terribly wrong. I tried to sleep it off, but at about 4:15am Saturday, Nov 10th I knew what was going to happen. My water broke as I sat on the toilet. The pain was indescribable. I immediately called 911, as I felt the fetus beginning to pass. The EMS workers were quick to the scene, and with their help, I delivered my baby on the floor of my bedroom. This was my biggest fear. I was taken to the hospital again, where I finished out my miscarriage. I am still in a bit of shock and am devastated.
I've wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. However, I know my baby is with God, and that I am not alone in my grief. Just knowing that there are others out there with similar experiences is a great comfort. It is going to take a long time for me to deal with my grief, but I do believe that time heals all wounds.
My Baby AngelMy husband and I decided to try for our first baby in Jan 2007. In Feb 2007 we were pregnant, also on the day we did the test we found out my husbands father had cancer. Happy about the pregnancy, but also apprehensive as 4 years ago having miscarried at 14 weeks, and sad about the cancer, this pregnancy was "meant to be". We decided to tell no one until 4 months had passed, except my father in-law who we told at 3 month to give him hope whilst going through a bad time.
My whole pregnancy was perfect (after the early worries). At 36 weeks, the baby room was ready and we were all looking forward to the best Christmas ever, the first at our house with our new baby.
On a Monday the baby was restless all day, this was unusual but I had been told this happens when it turn ready for the birth. Then on the Tues, Wed & Thursday I felt the movements had slowed down, I was naturally concerned but had read that the baby moves less in the later stages as there is less room, plus I was working and may have missed some movement.
I had a Ddr's app. on Friday, so not wanting to be a paranoid mother waited until then. I expressed my concerns and the Dr heard the heart beat and said everything was fine, but to book with the hospital to be monitored on Monday, as it is routine at 37 weeks anyway, unless I was worried over the weekend. I was going away for the weekend so asked if he was concerned, he said no. So off I went with my mind at ease.
On Monday, there was no heartbeat to monitor and the ultrasound confirmed that my baby had died at 37 weeks. My husband and I were distraught, our million dreams shattered into nightmares.
I was induced and gave birth to out perfect, beautiful little baby girl we named Rose on 24 Oct 2007, 3 weeks early weight 7lb,7oz. We held her, told her how much we will always love her, and kissed her goodbye.
We had a beautiful funeral for Rose, just our parent, siblings and the amazing midwives, that helped us through the worst times in our lives. The lady that organized the funeral was also amazing she gave me Roses baby suit and took a wax finger print that I have had made into a gold charm to have next to my heart forever.
As there was no visible reason for our baby's heart to have stopped, we agreed to an autopsy, although the Dr and midwives said we might never get an answer, sometimes this just happens.
We are forever grateful to the midwives for all the memories they collected for us - Beautiful Photos (she looks asleep and I'm able to have beside my bed), hand and foot prints and a piece of our baby's hair.
Sometimes I think I will never stop crying and the pain in my heart and sickness in my stomach wont ever go away, but then I'll have a better day and this helps me to move forward. Our want and love for our first baby girl Rose will never go away, but each day does get easier.
My husband and I have become stronger through this, and we long to try again once my body has healed. We hope that we are blessed again with a healthy precious baby that we get to parent and see grow and that my father in-law will also be around to see his second grandchild before meeting his first grandchild Rose.
I know we will always have hard days, (and I still do often). And we still have to get through our worst Christmas and New Year, but make it a good one, as it may be the last one with my father in-law (which will be very hard for us both). I hope we have a better 2008.
To all parents that have lost a baby, it is an awful thing, and my heart goes out to you all. I believe this tragedy will makes us better parents as we now realize just how precious and special a baby really is.
Too anyone going through this terrible loss, I know words can not help, but try to be strong, with support you'll find that light at the end of the tunnel, it may not happen straight way but believe its there, and never give up hope. I have little faith in anything at the moment, but I'm going to keep going...
We know that trying again will be the scariest and most worrying 9 months of our lives, and the though of this happening again is the most scariest, but we have to try again.
I know how alone we can feel, but it's amazing how many people will tell you of their loss once it happens to you. Although no one should have to go through this, it's nice to know you are not alone.
Love to all the True Angels, I believe they are the stars shinning down on us.
I will always love you my baby Rose xx
stillbirthI lost my baby at 34 weeks during pregnancy. I lost my mucous plug at 7 months. I went to UCLA emergency room where my doctor office is adjacent to the hospital. I was denied by young residents meaning (students). They said it's impossible for a mucous plug to come out so soon. The following day I went to Dr. Michael Johnson's office where he did not do a follow up and said from the ER reports everything is fine. Three weeks later my baby past. There was no heartbeat. When I delivered the baby, the doctor tried breaking my water bag. There was no water left so the baby had no water to survive.
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