Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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Special Place in my Heart


I was late on my period and I thought that I should take a test. My husband didn't think that I was, but like any other woman I had a gut felling. The test was positive. A little shocked I told my husband the news. We already have a 20-month-old daughter, we thought was this to soon?

We waited a few weeks to tell everyone the news. Getting more and more excited for the new baby we started thinking about names and about our future. I started to feel cramping and spotting a little, I thought well this could be normal so I started thinking back to my first pregnancy, I was a little crampy at times but I didnít bleed at all. I then started to panic. I called my mom for advice she told me to just keep an eye on how much I was bleeding. The next night I noticed that there was more, I was wearing a pantyliner and I definitely thought something was wrong, I am pregnant I shouldn't be felling like I'm on my period.

My husband took me to the emergency room. They took my blood and did an ultrasound but said that it was too early to detect a heartbeat. I was 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I was sent home and told to do a follow up with my O.B., which was on a Thursday I didn't have enough time.

That next Sunday I woke up early in the morning in some blood, my husband and I went back up to the E.R. and they did blood work and a pelvic exam. Test results showed that Thursday night my hormone levels were 16,000 and Sunday they were 10,000 they had dropped. I was shocked; I stared to cry I knew that I was loosing my baby. There was nothing I could do about it, I knew that I had to be strong and collect myself before we could pick up our daughter from the babysitters.

We went home and about 2 hours later I had lost my baby. I do feel an emptiness, I didnít think that I could fell like this. I look at my daughter and think this baby would have been a brother or a sister for her. I know I have to be strong and be a good mother but I will always have a special place in my heart for this baby. I know a lot of women have been though worse. I have to keep my head up; there will definitely be more children in the future for us. We now as a family we have another angel looking out for us.

My love goes out to any woman out there that has had to go through any experience like mine, you are in my thoughts. God Bless


Tashia






my lil fighter

When me and my partner had found out were pregnant we were so excited to be having our first child together and my second. The first 3mnths were amazing. When I was about 14wks pregnant I started bleeding and passing large blood clots so we called the midwife and she explained that I had what was called a threatened miscarriage and that we should go to the hospital, which we did only to find out that baby had a good strong heart beat and the hCG levels were normal so we went home.

When I was 16wks the bleeding had started again so the midwives assumed I had a low-lying placenta, which was confirmed at my 18 to 20wk ultrasound. I went into see my midwives on March 7 the for a routine checkup and still the baby was fine. On March 13 I went for and ultrasound to find out what we were having and we found it was a boy which was perfect because I have my girl and I would have had my boy right.

On March 17th me and boyfriend went to the mall did a lil shopping went home had dinner thinking things were going 2 be okay; we were wrong. At about 2 in the afternoon I started getting a lot of pelvic discomfort I didnít think anything of it until around 9 that night when in the tub and the cramping wasnít going away so I called my mom and she told me not to panic so I went to bed only to wake up at 1:45 in the morning with severe lower back pain along with pelvic pain.

I didnít think I was having contractions until they started coming 5minutes apart so I went and woke my boyfriend up and we went to the hospital. We got there at 6 in the morning, 5 hours later my water broke. 45 minutes later Owen was born; he weighed 11oz. I wasnít fully aware of what just happened; I was more in shock then anything.

The only thing I am grateful for was that I got to hold him and say goodbye. I have pictures of me and my partner with him. He was my lil fighter he hung on for a while. I feel guilty in a sense cause I couldnít do anything. I tried to blame my partner for what happened. I figured if he woke earlier they might have been able to stop my labour. I blamed god for taking my baby from us. I punished myself for what happened I am extremely angry. I have a sense of emptiness.

The hardest part for me was having the baby but he wouldnít be coming home with me.


sabrina






What happened?

I was 28 weeks pregnant when I went in to the doctor. I stopped feeling my baby move like she use to about 2 weeks earlier. I went to the doctor as soon as I stopped feeling her move and the doctor checked her heartbeat, which was strong.

Well I still didn't feel like everything was fine and so I went in again just to check and that is when I found out that by baby had died. I had to be induced and I had to go through labor as if I had carried my baby to term. She was the most beautiful baby I had seen.

I have had two girls prior to this baby (ages 7 and 4) and nothing was ever wrong with them. My husband is very supportive and we are supporting each other better than I though it would go. When we want to cry, we cry. I still haven't cleaned out the baby's room.

We didn't get an autopsy done because I couldn't stomach the fact of someone cutting on my baby girl when it could have just been God's will. I don't want to give the baby's stuff away but I also can't see me wanting to ever try again for another child.

People say the wrong things like "there will be others", but she is not replaceable, she is my baby girl.


Deontrice






angels in heaven

I recently had a miscarriage about a week ago. After having one healthy child back in 2003, we were blessed a beautiful baby girl. My husband and I decided to have another baby until we discovered that we were pregnant again. I went for my first ultrasound in Sept. 2005 to hear a healthy heart beating at 9 weeks. Two weeks later I noticed some light spotting when I used the bathroom, I immediately called the doctor.

The doctor just told me that I might be experiencing a miscarriage, didn't want to see me, until I asked for a referral to the hospital since my husband was in the military (didnít want to be liable for any payments) then she told me to come in since my medical was free. I had to see the on call doctor who didn't even know how to operate an ultrasound machine. He called another doctor and immediately he said I had lost the baby and walked out of the room. Didn't give me any instructions of what I would experience whatsoever. The only thing they told me was that I couldn't get pregnant until one normal cycle.

After one normal cycle passed, we immediately starting trying, come to find out month after month I got my period. Finally after 4 months I got pregnant again. Didn't see the same doctor. The doctor I saw was actually quite nice. Told me I could have anything I wanted done. So after my first visit at 6 weeks, 4 weeks post ovulation, saw a sac but no embryo or heartbeat. They just eased my mind by saying it could still be too early to actually see an embryo.

At that time they told me my hCG level was 7000, which was pretty low. They told me to repeat in 2 days. I went back for a repeat blood test and they said that it jumped to 9800, which was still okay but should double by now. A couple of days later I was experiencing cramping in my lower right abdomen. A couple of days later I went to the emergency room to get an ultrasound done to find that the sac had grown in size and a tiny embryo was developing but no heartbeat yet. My hCG level was at 11200. They later found that I had a large cyst on my right ovary. Thatís whatís causing the pain they said, waiting in the hospital for 6 and half hours for my results. The ER doctor told me to follow up with my OB in 3 days.

I went to the doctor and did another ultrasound and found that there was no heartbeat and that this pregnancy wasn't going to be successful. Again, I cried. I didn't take it as hard as I did the first although we wanted this baby so bad. I figured since I didn't hear the heartbeat I kind of was prepared for the worst. They talked to me for a bit and told me to return for a follow up the next week. I then returned to the doctor and she told me that she knew my pregnancy was a failure because my hCG level was dropping to begin with.

I was thinking how is that possible when all this time they were telling me that my hCG level was rising but not double and that the embryo was growing just a tiny bit. At least this time the doctor wanted to monitor me through my miscarriage. So I miscarried last week. Heavy cramping, period-like. Wasn't as bad as the first since I was further along the first time. (11.2 weeks to be exact). The doctor told us to wait for at least one period. But since the bleeding has stopped, we started having intercourse without protection. I just hope that everything goes well this time.

People say that things happen for a reason, but I don't believe that!! I can't imagine how many people have lost more that 2 babies. It must be heartbreaking. My husband and I always wanted to have 3 babies, and now that my daughter is almost 4 in Sept. sheís always wanted a sibling. She cried both pregnancies that I lost. Itís so hurtful to see her cry, I don't want her to think Iím a failure.

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has lost an angel. Good luck and best wishes to all.


edan






miss my loss

I still havenít really gotten over what has happened to me. This is probably the hardest thing I am going through.

We found out that we were pregnant on March 21st, 2007. The first day of spring a beautiful day, we were so excited that this blessing was happening to us again. We have a beautiful little boy who is three and a half. He was so happy that he was going to be a big brother.

Well I only got to enjoy being pregnant for 9 days. On March 28th I noticed that when I went to the washroom there was a little spotting when I wiped. I really didn't think too much of it because I know how common it is to have a little bleeding during your first trimester.

Then the next day on March 29th I was at work and I wasn't feeling so well so I thought that I would call the health link just to see how fast and if I should see a doctor. The nurse on health link told me that if I started to bleed more within that day that I should go to the emergency. After I got off the phone with her I went to the washroom and of course I was bleeding a lot heavier so right then I left work and went the hospital because it was fairly late in the evening. My husband met me at the hospital and was totally shocked that I was there.

The doctor who checked me out in emerg did confirm that I was 6weeks and 5 days pregnant. I have not been to see my family doctor yet for my first prenatal visit. The doctor did do a vaginal ultrasound and told us that he was not able to see anything because he didn't have the proper equipment and he wanted me to have further testing to make sure that this wasn't a tubal pregnancy and because I was fairly early in my pregnancy. He told me that he would schedule me in for another ultrasound first thing in the morning. The doctor made me feel pretty good about leaving that night; he really assured me that the bleeding wasn't too serious and again fairly common.

On March 30th I went for my ultrasound at 10:00am the doctor that was performing my ultrasound was training so I was pretty distracted because all I could concentrate on was if she knew what she was doing. First they did a regular ultrasound on my belly then again she did the vaginal ultrasound that was when I knew that something was terribly wrong. At this point I could feel the bleeding becoming heavier.

As soon as the doctor said the word possible miscarriage I started to cry and as soon as he explained to me that this was most likely what was happening I needed to get out of there. (At this point my husband was still in the waiting room, as they would not let him in yet.) The ultrasound doctor wanted me to go back to the doctor I saw the night before for more results and talk to him about what had just happened but I couldn't I had to leave, just go home to deal with this pain and pain it is. The hardest part of all was telling our son that he was no longer going to be a big brother.

It is now 2 days later and I find it really hard to look at new babies and pregnant women. I'm not really sure if and when I will be ready to try again. We have a beautiful son and I thank god for him everyday.

But I think what if this was my little girl?


jacqui







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