It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.
Everything happens for a reason
My name is leigh ann and im 5 months pregnant. I found out i was pregnant on july 22nd but i basicly knew way before that i just hadnt been able to actually find out till my mom ended up taking me to the doctor. But anyway my story started back when i started talking to james. He had just moved in up the street from me but ive known him from when we were both younger because he was one of my older sisters old friends. He is 21 and even before we started really talking my sister had told me not to do anything with him because he was nothing but trouble. Of course im stubborn and i didnt listen to her because i thought i was really starting to like him. Well james and i started seeing eachother more often and having sex. We were together for about 3 months before i got pregnant in may. I told him one night that i was pretty sure i was pregnant and that its most deffinately his and he seemed happy at that time. He had hugged me and held me tight and told me he was gonna be there for me and support me and take care of me and the baby and that he loved me. At that time i was happy and i felt like everything was gonna be ok and we were gonna do this together. Well everything i thought was wrong.
James started to not see me much the only time he would ever see me was at night sometimes. He always had a reason of some type of why he couldnt see me. I started seeing him leaving off the street with another girl and when i asked him about it he said it was his brothers girlfriend and he was only getting rides from her. A couple weeks later he moved to his grandmas house. Meanwhile i was sitting at home upset and alone because nobody else knew about me being pregnant at the time so i had nobody to talk to about anything that was going on. I was also in the middle of playing softball and being on the allstar team. Thats also when i heard he was now talking to 46 yr old women, pam. I didnt know what to do anymore.
Right after softball ended thats when i found out for sure i was pregnant because my mom was starting to expect something and she took me to the doctor. I was happy she knew now but it was hard because she knew what was going on with james. Me and my mom both asked him about him seeing pam and he denied it. We talked to james mom about it and she said that they were together and she left her husband for him when she herself has 3 kids. She now lives at james grandmas and hes still saying nothings going on but i know it is and so does everybody else. Not to mention the fact that im hearing now that hes got another baby on the way with some other girl. I dont know yet if this is true or not though.
So now im 5 months pregnant and starting to be happy again. Me and james are no longer speaking and im starting to talk to a really nice guy. Hes really sweet and actually understands everything im going through and has been there for me alot in the short time we've been talking. My mom and dad are supporting me and are there for me whenever i need them. I couldnt ask for better parents. My older sister is helping alot because she knows how it feels to be in my shoes because shes been here to. The baby is growing fast and time is just flying by now, in no time ill be able to hold my precious baby. I will love her to no end and do everything i can for her nomatter what because shes my baby and she will come first in my heart always. And how i think of it is everything ive been through has made me stronger and that everthing happens for a reason and only god knows the answers to why it does.
young motherhoodI was 14 when i met Derek. He was 16 and it felt good to have my first "real" boyfriend. I met him through one of my guy friends, and we clicked right away. We seemed to have everything in common and better yet, Derek was interested in me. Me! A 8th grader while he was in 10th grade. The summer before ninth grade, Derek and I became boyfriend and girlfriend.
We hadent really discussed sex before but as we got further into our realtionship, i felt that we needed to talk about it, because I knew that Derek was experienced, and i was not. So when we talked about it, it sorta went like this "All of my ex girlfriends had sex with me, you're going to. Right?" And that was that. We had sex 4 months into our realationship. Soon after that it became a regular thing, and we usaully used protection, but if there was none we continued anyway. I am actulley sorta shocked at how long we lasted without me getting pregnant. One whole year. It's kinda ironic that i got pregnant in July, almost the same day we started dating. But when Derek and i found out i was pregnant there was nothing funny about it.
Over the course of our realationship, Derek and i broke up 7 times, but our "breaks" only had ever lasted up to 2 weeks. So i don't know if it counts when i say that we dated for a year and 2 months before we broke up for good. Because i know that Derek took the oppertunity to sleep with other girls everytime we had a breakup.
I found out i was pregnant at 6 weeks along, thats what my doctor told me. Derek's first reaction was that i needed to get an abortion. Not should, but needed. And i wouldnt have it. I knew the second i saw our babies heartbeat that i could never go through with it. Maybei could if i had never seen the heartbeat, but i had. So thats when he broke up with me. When i was 8 weeks pregnant, and i told him i refused to kill our baby.
When Derek and i were no longer together, i knew that it was over for good. The other times we broke up didnt involve me being pregnant. So i became depressed over the next two weeks and my mother noticed. So she asked why i knew it was over for good, "why wouldnt Derek and i work out?" And thats when i told her i was pregnant.
Overall my mom was supportive of me, execpt when Dereks parents didnt help out. They said that unless i got DNA to prove he was the father, they werent having anything to do with it. I couldnt believe that u had actulley fallen for Derek. School was really tough on me because i got stares from everybody, and whats worse is that they knew Derek was the father, and that he had left me. You would think people would look down on him, but no. They said he dooged a bullet.
At 18 weeks pregnant i found out the sex of the baby, which was a girl. I was really happy about that because i thouht about all the things i could do with her, rather than if i had a son. Not that i wouldnt being doing things with him, it's just boys are more into sports, and that was something a dad would do with him.
On may 27th Autem Kendall was born. She was born 3 days before her due date. And even more she was beautiful. I left school for the rest of the year, and finnished my junior year at home. Meanwhile Derek was in his second year of college, and instead of staying in out town at our local university, one of his friends told me he was transfering to a college nearly 1,000 miles away. I felt happy ay first but then i realized that he truely didnt care about his own daughter.
Autem is now 4 months old, and she is truley amazing. Derek has seen his daughter, but only once. He asked me to see her before he left for college, and he held her for about 5 minutes. Not even with her for an hour before he left. I feel truely sad that Derek will never get to feel the joy i do when i home home to my smiliing baby girl. But i also know that it is his choice. So here i am, a 17 year old single mom and I'm happy.
My babyI was 17 years old when i found out i was pregnant with my son his "dad" was in the marines. We dated for 3 years before i ended up pregnant and i thought that we was perfect together. the last year together we dated on and off he would come home we would get together then he would leave and wed break up. Well it was thanksgiving weekend and we didnt use protection.And about 3 months later i found out i was pregnant. Well we was doing great and then he started accusing me of cheating on him. Ithought to myself that i would never do that to someone i love let alone the father of my child. Well we fought for hours then he called me and told me he didnt want anything to do with our baby and that i needed to have an abortion.I told him no and we didnt talk for months.Then i found someone else that loved me even though i was pregnant by someone else. On August 26 2009 my son was born and he still didnt try contacting me.So i gave up on him. And when my son was 10 months old i found out i was pregnant again. I know what everyone is thinking but birthcontrol didnt work for this one. I was 18 years old with 2 kids i didnt no how i was going to do it. I had dropped out of school and worked full time at a crappy job just to support one kid.How was i going to take care of 2. and on december 1 2010 my daughter was born. I am 20 years old now with a 2 year old son and a 9 month old daughter i worry everyday how good i am raising my kids. But then i sat down and thought that my kids have everything that they want and need plus more.they have a mom that loves them and a wonderful dad that has stuck with me since the so called dad walked out on me. I am going back to school with the help of my mom. I dont work and i jus got married to a wonderful man. my kids are spoiled rotten and i never thought how hard it would be to be a mother as young as i am.
Pregnant in a long distance relationshipAlex, my boyfriend and I meet though my cousin. His best friend was dating my cousin. Well he lived in Missouri and I lived in Washington. So we meet August of 2009. We dated long distance for about 4 months. Then December 2009 we finally meet in person. He came to my home town for Christmas. While he was here for 2 weeks we ended up having sex a few times. He went home back to Missouri and we keep up are long distance relationship. About half way into January h2011 I noticed my period was late. I thought nothing of it. Then in February I stated getting really sick all the time in the morning. So I went to the drug store and took a pregnancy test. It came out positive. So I called Alex and told him. He was so scared but he said he would be there for me. We each told are parents separately. Both took it well and would support us End of March Alex came to visit during his spring break. I was just starting to show I was about 4 months along at the time. He came to a doctor appointment and everything while he was there. Then the big decision had to be made. We sat down with my parents and we decided the best thing to do would be for Alex to moved to Washington after he finished out his Jr. Year of high school. We then the first week of April 2010 flew too Missouri during my spring break. I finally meet his parents then. They agreed that Alex moving to Washington would be a good thing. So I returned to Washington. During the next 2 months of waiting for Alex to move to Washington I became very considered about what Alex would think of my pregnant body. He really had only seen a skinny me. Of course I was sending him pictures and stuff but I wondered how he would feel about it. It was hard on Alex during those 2 months. He had to start saying goodbye to his friends and start becoming a dad. He also hated that he missed doctor appointments and feeling the baby kick. Then June of 2010 finally came and I picked Alex up at the airport to come live with me and the baby in Washington. I remember as he was driving my car home from the airport all he wanted to do was feel the baby kick and move around. We were so happy. We got to go to an ultrasound about a week after he moved to find out the sex and we were having a little boy. We were so excited. Our whole summer was us getting the babies room ready and adjusting to us living with each other. Alex was a very hands on dad during the pregnancy he loved to feel the baby kick and he would love to talk to and kiss my growing belly. Then August hit and I started having problems. The baby was breached. Alex and I really wanted a natural birth. So the doctor asked me to go on bed rest to see if that helped the baby turn. We went back a week later and he was turned corretly now my doctor was telling me I was gaining to much weight. She told me I gained 3 lbs in a week. And now that I think about it I shouldn't have been surprised I wasn't eating well at all during my pregnancy and I know I wasn't. Then on September 3 2010 I was laying in bed with Alex talking and my water broke. I then started having really bad painful contractions. Alex took me to the hospital were I was then in labor for 14 hours. Then at 11 at night I started pushing. Ryder Alexander Davis came into the world at 11:45 pm on September 3 2010 Alex and I feel in love the minute we saw him. He looked just like his dad. Today Ryder will be 1 in 4 days. Alex and I were both able to.graduate from high school on time. Ryder is Just as happy as he can be and on his first birthday we are going to tell him he is going to have a little brother or sister. I am now 8 weeks pregnant again. Alex and I are super excited to have another. We are also getting married September 17th. We are excited spend the rest of our lives together. Ryder is getting big so fast he is walking and trying to get into everything now. We made a trip after Ryder was born and this summer to Missouri to see Alex's parents and friends. They are very happy for us. Alex and I hope to have an amazing future with our wonderful growing family.
Solo teen momWhen I found out I was pregnant I cryed because I was olny 17 and still in school. I thought that the baby's father would stay around and would be caring. When I told him the frist thing he said was Are you sure? well I think you should get an abortion.... Abortion to me is wrong and murder. The baby's father called his older brother who works in a pharmacy and said something. His older brother told him to tell me to take all my birth control pills and that should kill the baby. I wouldnt do that. Adoption I consider, I asked my older sister and brother in law if they would be willing to adopt the baby, after looking at their bills and stuff they told me that they cant afford another baby. Then i started talking to one of my mom's friend who cant have kids due to health reason and such. I though about letting her and her husband adopt the baby but when I sat down and really thought about it I knew that I couldnt do it. The main reason why I wouldnt be able to put my child up and let other people raise her was because I shouldnt have even had sex if I wasnt ready for a child, I knew that It would hurt me to much to see someone else raise the baby that I gave birth too. Meanwhile I was throwing up 17 times a day. Lost 30 pounds, while my baby father was partying up at college. The baby's father and I fight because I dont give him his way. He live 300 miles away at college and thinks that seeing the baby once a month is ok. He thinks that the baby should have his last name but on top of that he also wants a DNA test because his Parents dont think the baby is his. His parents tell him what to do still and to me his parents shouldnt have any right to this baby. The baby's dad is Named Kasey by the way. Kasey told me that if the baby was a girl he knows its not his because olny boys are born frist in family. I made Kasey go to the ultrasound were we found out the sex turns out the baby is a girl. ( girls run in my family) He was pissed off. We also found out that her kidney was bigger than it should have been and Kasey blamed me for that, telling me I was going to be a horrible mom and its all my fault. The doctor said it wasnt my fault that her kidney was bigger and that it just happens sometimes. Today Im 9 months pregnant and havent heard from Kasey or anyone in his family. I meant a great guy and he acts more like my daughter's father. I dont plan on telling Kasey or anyone in his family that the baby is born. I got sick of hearing from his family on how I was going to be such a horrible mother because I was so young. I know being a teen parent is going to be hard but I will protect my daughter from her dad.
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