Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
forever my baby
when i found i was pregnant it was the happyest day of my life. i was in shock because it wasn't planned i didnt know who tell first i found out on a wednesday and that friday i told my boyfriend that we were having a child he was shocked more then me he was scared but happy. when i went in for my first appt my sister went with me because my boyfriend couldnt make it when i seen my baby one the screen i went speech less then i seen the lil heart beat n i wanted to cry.. i told him all about it. everything was goin fine until i had some bleeding on the 19 of november i dismissed it because it was a peach color n it was when i would wipe. that thanksgiving day i had more bleeding n i told my sister she said that it was ok just to relax. i told my mother about the bleeding that saturday n she but me on bed because she said it wasnt normal (my 1st preganany so i didnt know) that monday i wore a pad to school just in case around 10 am i went to the restroom n there was alot mor blood i called my mother at work and she told me to go home n wait for her to arrive once she didnt we went to the hospital (ER). we were there for about 5 hours they checked my cervix was still closed n when i heard that i was excited because i thought there was a chance that i was not miscarrying. after they did drow blood to run some test n i had an untrasound done. i was sent back to my room to wait for the news then the nurse came in and the doctor. the doctor sat in front of me n told my that even though my cervix was cloosed that i miscarried they said that they couldnt find a heartbeat anymore n that the baby only had looked like it was 7 or 8 weeks not the 9 1/2 weeks i was.. i seen my mother cry n i tryed so hard not to cry but i couldnt hold it in it was like my heart was torn out.. i couldnt believe it i had just seen the heartbeat a week before n now there wasnt any.. i went home to cry i blamed my self for i called my boyfriend about an hour after i had arrived home to till him he didnt know how to react. that same day i only didnt lose my baby whom i didnt even get to hold or name but i also lost my boyfriend i lost everything i had in the world.. when i am at home i feel fine with no pain but once i leave and walk out into the world i hurt. why, because now i have to face the people and tell them my loss and with that brings pain.. i dont believe that with everyday it gets easier because how can you forget the pain of not having your child with you. but what i do believe is that everything happens for a reason and that only it will be my turn and i will be able to hold my baby when the time is right. till that day i wait with open arms... and no matter what happens in the future i will not forget about the one i have lost but remember him/her because s/he is mine and forever will be....
MiscarriageI am 37 years old and just experienced by first miscarriage. I was 10 week 4 days, when I noticed brownish discharge and loss of breast tenderness. I went to the ER, depite the nurse telling me that those symptoms can be normal, but I knew something was wrong. The ultrasound showed that the baby was only 8 weeks 5 days in size and there was no heart beat. I was devestated! I called my Dr. the next day (Fri) and she scheduled me for a D&C on Monday. I noticed over the weekend, I lost all pregnancy symptoms and even lost the pregnancy weight (I lost 10 pounds in 1 week). I had no cramping, but continued to have some brownish discharge. My surgery was yesterday. It went well from a medical perspective. I was at the hosptial for a few hours after. Since going home I have only experienced mild cramping and some side effects from the anesthesia. Of course it has been an emotional roller coaster.
This was my 3rd pregnancy, I have 2 beautiful daughters ages 10 and 7 from a previous marriage. This baby would have been my husband's first. We had only told our parents and my husband's siblings, that we were pregnant. We were planning to tell our extended family and my daughters on Thanksgiving and it is now hard to think about celebrating any holidays at this time. My sister-in-law is pregnant and was only 2 weeks behind me. She is planning to tell the family at Thanksgiving. We have chosen to not go to my husband's family for Thanksgiving, as it will be to painful to share in her celebration.
I am very thankful that I didn't tell my children about this pregnancy yet, as it would have too hard to tell them of this loss. Partly why we didn't tell anyone of our pregnancy was to wait until we were out of the first trimester, in case something happened. I originally thought I wouldn't want to tell others of my pregnancy loss, but have found it comforting to have others to talk to about it. I have learned that several family and friends have also experinced such a loss. The positive side of not telling people we were pregnant is that we don't have to "untell" people and can choose who we want to share our miscarriage news with. Since my daughters don't know about the pregnancy or the loss we have asked people not to send us cards, so they don't accidently find out.
We plan to try again and are thinking positive that it will go well. I have a follow up appt. in 4 weeks with the Dr. Then she said we could start trying after my first or second real period. Of course I worry that I will miscarry again, but will try to remain optimistic.
To cope with this loss, I have ordered a charm for my Pandora bracelet of an Angel with the June birthstone in it. I originally wanted to get a pumkin since that was the baby's nickname, but they only had ugly looking Jack-o-lanterns that could not possibly represent this beautiful baby that I miss dearly.
If you are reading this and have experienced a miscarriage, I am sorry for your loss. If you think you are experiencing one, I highly recommend that you trust your gut instinct and get it check out, and hopefully get some peace of mind.
BEFORE I KNEW YOU, YOU WERE GONEI found out i was pregnant back in september, i was excited but nervous due to the fact i had a daughter who was only a year old, I kept asking myself how was I going to do this, but in time I knew I could do it, because I loved them both.. I went to the dr who confirmed my pregnancy in early October, which is when we told our families and a few close friends.. we were so excited.. me more than anyone, I couldnt wait..
At around 7 weeks I began spotting so I called the dr and was told to come in to have an US done, I was so nervous, we did the US and the baby looked perfect, strong hearbeat! I was relieved, the dr told me to just not worry about the bleeding/spotting as long as I didnt have any pain with it. So I went home happy as could be and cotinued living my life. I had another appt a few weeks later, when I was almost 10 weeks, with the nurse practicioner and everything was going on track. Went home and at 11 weeks began bleeding but still had no pain.. hoping to make it to my 12 week appt with my dr to discuss what was going on. The bleeding never stopped, and on November 21, 2010, yes two days ago, I woke up at 7 am so know something wasnt right, I had been up off and on all night due to the bleeding. I got up to go to the bathroom and lost my baby, I Knew it as soon at it started what was happening.. There was so much blood... I will never forget, I called my mom and we went to the hospital where I sat for a few hours getting things done, knowing the whole time the baby was gone.. only to have it be told to me after an US. It was the worst experience of my life and I will never forget it. I go in today to meet with my dr. hopefully I can get some answers and begin to process it all and move on as best as I can.
I do believe things happen for a reason and although it sucks this was supposed to happen to me, I may never know why but I believe God does everything for a reason. I believe there was something not right with this baby and I am sad but happy I never knew what sex it was or felt it moving. Also that I didn't give birth to it to have it die later or have a life of complications.
I dont think I would be dealing so well if I didnt have my daugher who is almost 16 months old now to keep my busy and show me there is hope and I can try again, as soon as I am able to, which we plan to do!! This experience has forever changed me and I now more than ever feel so blessed to have my daughter and be a mommy!
There is hope, you have to believe in that, no matter what!
Thank you for listening to my story, and I never thought I would be posting anything like this as my life. It was never going to be me, but it is, and I hope my story and myself someday can help someone else, by giving them hope. Because even after 2 days, I still am going to try again!
I am sorry for all those who are going through the same thing as I am, it stinks and I would never wish it upon anyone ever.. Just keep the hope!
My HenryI was scared and nervous when I found out that I was "surprise!) pregnant with my second child early last year, due right around my son's second birthday. However, I quickly got used to the idea nd was excited about having to children close in age as I had five years between myself and my brother growing up and wanted my kids to be closer in age. My pregnancy seemed fine at first but as it progressed it became very different from my "perfect" first pregnancy. I had some bleeding at 11.5 weeks but it went away and I was told first trimester bleeding was common (which it is very much so and does not always result in a loss). Around 18 weeks, I started having more bleeding, where I would have a "big bleed"- soaking through a pad in a hour- and then it wouldn't happen for a couple of days and then it would happen again. It got progressively worse until I had to be hospitalized. Around 22 weeks, a very important time for development, my amniotic fluid went down so much so that I was told that due to the bleeding and risk to my life, I needed to terminate the pregnancy. I decided not to and bled heavily for several more weeks. At 24 weeks, my Henry was born. Up until delivery, he still had a strong heartbeat and besides the amniotic fluid being low and bleeding, he was fine in his size and growth. He was stillborn and was so perfect. 1 pound four ounces and 12 inches long. We got to hold him and stay with him as long as we wanted. I have never felt such sadness and pain in my life. I miss him so much. I am now pregnant (10 weeks) after another miscarriage and I am just so scared. I really want another baby but have had some spotting and just terrified I will have another miscarriage. After losing my Henry and the last miscarriage, I don't know how much more I can take. I miss the babies I lost so much and I already love this one. I just pray all the time that this time it will be okay but until June, I don't know that I will get through it. I know many of you have lost babies and know the feeling. I just miss him so much.
MiscarriageHi,i lost 7weeks pregnancy,it was painfull but a nurse lady who is in her mid 30s told me to be strong because she has never been pregnant and is still waiting.God has good plans am praying for another and believe i will be soon.Be strong too.
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