Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
to Marisol, alot in common
When I read your story Marisol, I knew we had alot in common. I also have a 5yr. old son & a 4yr. old son. I also miscarried on Aug. 12th. Never really had any symptoms before I started bleeding at 2:30am. When the dr.'s office opened I called and she told me to come down and do some blood work to check my progesterone & hcg levels, came back as low and only 37 hcg level which at 5 weeks 4days should have been much higher....she bascically told me it ended before it ever really got started, which in all this hurt and confusion gave me some comfort because it had never developed a heartbeat etc...my first sonogram wasn't going to be until Aug. 26th(would have been 8 weeks). I'm still dealing with it constantly on the internet searching for answers. Haven't told our children yet, and they haven't said anything, they seem to have forgotten about it because we haven'y talked about it, my 5 yr old wants a sister....and we are trying again ASAP...not sure when I'll ovulate though, pretty sure I am now, by the CM. I hope you read this cause I would like to know if you ever had a miscarriage before or had any problems with your first 2 pregnancies? I didn't, this was my first miscarriage, never had one glich with my first 2 pregnancies, they went perfect!! So needless to say I'm very confused about this and am at a loss as to why this happened....can't really make sense of the statistics. Very sorry for your loss and everyone else whom have had a loss like this... Jennifer
MiscarriageHi, I had a miscarriage on Aug 13, I was 6 weeks pregnant. My husband and I have a 5 year old son and a 4 month old girl, we were so excited to be pregnant with our third. I started spotting 5 days before it happened, I called my doctor's office and they said it was normal and not to worry. The day before the miscarriage the bleeding got really heavy and I had a lot of back pain, my husband took me to the E.R where I had an ultrasound and pelvic exam done, we were able to see the baby and the heartbeat ... we were so excited!!! The doctor didn't say much, just told me to go back if the bleeding continued or got heavier, it did. The next day I was back in the E.R but this time I was in much more pain and had heavy bleeding. As soon as the doctor came in my room, he said I was having a miscarriage, that because of the amount of blood there was no need to have an ultrasound done. I have never felt so much sadness in my life, I felt so much pain in my heart .... I had just lost my grandmother 2 days before and was unable to attend any of the services because I had been in the hospital. Right now I'm at a loss on what to do, my husband has been by my side the entire time and has been very supportive but .... how do you tell a 5 year old that there is no more baby, he was so excited because he really wants a little brother. My husband and I have decided to wait off on trying again, the whole experience has really scared the both of us, we haven't decided how long to wait but we are sure that we want another baby.
To everyone who is reading this and has lost their child.... I feel your pain, sorry for your loss.
Loss of babiesHello i just found out i was pregnant with twins first pregnancy, I went to the OB for the first time only to find out i had 2 sacks but no heart beats:~( My boyfriend is a very closed communications wise and i really want him to share on how he feels about me loosing the babies at 12 weeks I am at the point of ending the relationship because i don't think we have anything left together..I am not sure of what to do i am very depressed and I don't want to get pregnant again because of the fear i feel with in me.. I need help in what to do and how to get on with my life.
Our little AngelThis is Jo Ann and Art. We have been married for 16yrs. All we ever wanted was a baby. In May of this 2008, We found out i was Pregnant. That day was the most exciting day of our lives. We where going to have a family of our own. The following week i had a dr. appt.
For the first time we saw our baby. It was a miracle. We had to go back in another month. At that time we heard the baby heart beat. The sound of the heart beat was so Beautiful. On August the 13 about 3:00 am. I woke up with a bad cramp. i thought the baby was on top of my bladder. After my cramp i would pee. At the time i didnt think anything of it. well later that morning the cramps started to get stronger and i was peeing even more. by that time i had called my dr. office and the the dr on call what was going on. He told me to go in. when we went in. i was already 2 to 3 cinimters. he admited me in to the hospital. He give me some medication to stop the contractions. (by the way when i thought i was peeing it was my water that was leaking). At the time i developed a fever that was 103 for at least a couple of hours. i was more out of it then you can say. My husband was there the whole time with me. i knew i was not good news when i the dr. came into my room. he had told us at the time with such high fever that i developed a infection. that it was not good. he told me that i had to terminate my pregancy. I had our percious son at 732 pm. he was so BEAUTIFUL. he had all of his fingers, toes, his lips was perfect. i wish there was more that i could have done. if only i knew what was happeing to us, i would have called the dr sooner. i keep on blaming my self. if only i knew. My Husband was with me the whole time. i dont know what i would have done with out him there.
we think about our son all the time. i know our little angel is up in heaven. and i cant wait to bring him home to us, thats where he belongs home with his mom and dad. Wyatt we miss you and love you so much, We will never forget you our son.
Missed miscarriageI have recently suffered a missed miscarriage which means that the fetus died at eight weeks but I did not start miscarrying until week 13. I think that I knew that something was wrong for the week leading up to the actual miscarriage.
In the middle of week 12 I actually visited a doctor who told me he could hear a very faint heartbeat (!). Two days later I started to bleed and passed what I judged to be a large clot. I went to the ER and after a seven hour wait was told that nothing the doctor there had seen sounded like a miscarriage although due to equipment and expertise shortage he was unable to do a scan. I actually live in Sweden and when I came back to Sweden the next day after my ER visit I went straight to the ER here and had an ultrasound which showed that there had been no development in the pregnancy since week eight.
My husband and I went home and began the grieving process. Two days later I was back in hospital due to the most incredible pains in my abdomen. This was apparently the fetus coming out and whilst I was at the hospital I miscarried most of the pregnancy. This was quite a traumatic process for which I was unprepared. Nobody had warned me about the pain or the quantities of blood I should expect.
Since then I have been physically better and have talked about what has happened with friends and family. This has been my greatest support. Without them I would have found this process far harder. It seems as though there is a taboo surrounding miscarriage, as though it is something to be ashamed of. I think that this is a shame as everything I have read and heard about miscarriage states that neither I or my husband did anything wrong, it's just one of those things. I do not smoke, I don't drink regularly, I exercise daily, I am a healthy vegetarian who has more idea of what healthy eating involves than many carnivores! Despite all this there are doubts that creep in. When these doubts start to worm their way in I voice them, talk about them and in that way I can squash those thoughts before they balloon into guilt.
Although I am still in the very early stages of miscarriage (am still sitting on the sofa in discomfort having started miscarrying three days ago), my advice is to talk, talk talk. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and absolutely no blame involved. Stay positive and plan for the future. Do not be put off. I also think that reading things on the internet (!) can be very off-putting so check the source before reading it as gospel.
Stay strong and positive.
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